Busy busy day...fixed

Health care signup deadline... Last day for studded tires... Sent an AWESOME job listing that I'm totally going for... And my first girl's 27th birthday. Spent hours working on the house, and also on hold with obamacare people, worked on my resume, put out fires in Utah, sitting at the tire shop just before they close, heading south with presents and a gluten free cake made just for the girl, taking her out to dinner... Lined up the next seasonal job, switched shifts for Friday to pick up 2nd daughter... Is it silly to miss someone? Well, silly I am, and okay with it, I suppose. Hope everything goes like clockwork, it's overdue and would be nice. More work on house when I get home later.

Sigh no more, ladies. Fixed.

No, not following through with the rest of the classic line from Much Ado About Nothing...this isn't about men, per se. It's about children. Parenthood is a tough gig, for anyone...add single, working parent and it ramps up a bit. If you're trying, that is. Sleepless nights, broken hearts, swallowed pride, overcoming emotion, thinking, or trying to, from a million different angles, trusting even though you know you shouldn't, praying to whatever power there may be in the universe that they can learn and grow and not damage themselves irreparably in the heat of young idiocy disguised to themselves as maturity. You do your best to make the potholes, and sinkholes, visible, while not letting on that you're helping...because that's repulsive to them. You offer calm advice when asked, or not, and face the disdain of perceived-much-wiser-life-knowledge in the eye rolls. You sympathize, but not placate. You provide opportunity but not participate. You give love. Yes, we get our hearts broken. We are ignored. Shunned. Snubbed. And that's just how it goes. I love my children. They are my heart. They. ARE. My. Heart. The best that I have to offer the world, all that I have to give that is true goodness. They carry me in them, my one piece of immortality. They have hated me, and hated themselves for hating that they love me. So, we cry, parents. We try to hide the fear, the pain, the struggle. Sometimes we hide the smiles that won't be welcome, the sheer joy at their existence that will be taken as taking credit. We don't, always. We are human, and are cursed for that frailty...not only by our children, a judgmental society, but by ourselves. And then, we just keep on. Sigh no more, sweet parents...Sigh no more. Children are ourselves ever. And then,the parental trifecta. Thank you. I'm sorry. I love you.

The Eagles- DESPERADO-HD: http://youtu.be/iDNtqy0zjJA

If I ever had to choose one song...

One song to describe how I feel about my life, it just might be this one. Mamma Mia! - I Have A Dream: http://youtu.be/WssQP1xWJRM

A mother's heart

Slipping Through My Fingers - Meryl Streep, Amand…: http://youtu.be/Zi7OXmTmgGg

So

I drove.
A lot.
And tonight, here on my bed, wrapped in my blanket, my legs are shaking.
But it's good.
I was worried about this drive, so to have it done is an accomplishment.
The dogs want to sleep with me, but they bother the cats, who want to sleep with me also...and since the upstairs is the feline domain, they win.

So.
Frog song.
My bed.
Open window.
And a voice in my ear.

Good night.

Lifehouse - Between The Raindrops ft. Natasha Bed…: http://youtu.be/dG6-bU6esKo

Yes

it is what it is

Learning how to be grateful that things are what they are, in life, and accepting of those things, has been a major life lesson. It's one that continues to be taught to me. Sometimes...yeah, sometimes I'm tired of learning it. Cringing. Genie, after I wish for you to heal the hearts of everyone and bless the children and our world, please genie... Make me beautiful. Or at least pretty. Thank you. But, take care of those other things first and foremost please. sigh

Love this song

John Denver & Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Back Home …: http://youtu.be/qOT0M249MHo

sigh...and the elimination of the bizarre code language

Yes, I've always been told that I'm the strong one. In many ways, I am. But in many more... I'm not. I'm struggling right now. I'm worried about physically managing this upcoming drive, about getting things done, about taking care of the people I care about. And about not letting the struggle affect anyone else. Time to get up, and get the day begun. Sagittarius horoscope for Mar 20 2014 You do not like feeling vulnerable, Sagittarius. You have a tough, seemingly impenetrable exterior at times. Among those in your inner circle, you are probably thought of as the strong one. You may be secretly feeling rather vulnerable right now, and it's probably an uncomfortable feeling. But indulge yourself just a bit, and allow yourself to feel open to whatever is affecting you. If you do, you may discover something you really like about yourself once you get used to it, and it could soften your approach to your relationships and your outlook in general.

Of Mice & Men - When You Can't Sleep At Night (Of…: http://youtu.be/GtGl5vvYgVI

A loss

My much loved nephew and his sweet wife in Utah have been involved in an intense search for a very dear friend. The young man went missing a few days ago, and his body was found this evening...

There is peace in the resolution, pain in the loss.

My heart hurts for them.

black velveteen. Lenny Kravitz.

driving. its a lenny traffic kinda day.
I really like this song, sure can't post it on Facebook though.
dig it.

Lenny Kravitz - Black Velveteen: http://youtu.be/c3GN9PZG_qM