is romance dead?

There've been a few things happening lately that are bringing many thoughts to my mind...i know that nobody likes to just read about somebody's ramblings, but this is weighing on my mind and the whole reason I got this blog was so I would have a place to dump this stuff...so here goes:

When we first meet someone and begin to date, we feel that rush and adrenalin that is associated with infatuation. If that feeling stays and grows, it translates into the realm of romantic love, also called "being in love". Somewhere beyond that, in the mundane repetition of laundry, work, chores, child raising, paying bills, spaghetti instead of steak and Wal-mart instead of Nordstrom(if you live in the NW...otherwise, think Macy's on steriods), is where love grows. It is a deep and binding attachment that holds people together when nothing else will. Sometimes, to be honest, the legal bond is what holds people to each other while the love that they have can be dug out of the hole it's in and is revived a bit. There seems to be, in the minds of many people, the idea that if they aren't feeling that intense physical attraction that comes with infatuation and such, then they aren't "in love" anymore with the person and the relationship is over. Then they divorce and move on into another round of the same game, etc etc etc. What a shame. What they cheat themselves out of! Love, the real thing, requires tears and sweat and sacrifice, hard work to love someone when they are being incredibly unlovable(which we all are at times, be honest), making due with less than you really feel that you need so that someone else can have what they want, putting out 150% because your spouse's best at that time and place is only about 50%...do people know this anymore? It isn't easy! Think about the traditional wedding vows...it covers ill health(think about all that entails...), poverty, wealth(yes, humility is terrible hard work to keep), sadness(think it's easy to continue on in a well way when your heart is ripped to shreds over a wayward child, or full of grieving?), sunshine and rain. They cover fidelity and the need for it(trust, faith, hope). Do people make these vows without thinking? I have to wonder...

I know that in my experience there have been many many times when I would have just chucked it all and booked off if it weren't for those vows and the fact that I don't want to fail at marriage. I try to not take my spouse for granted, although it does happen...how could it not? Also part of a marriage is the work of forgiveness for all of those slights when there is so much work to do that there doesn't seem to be time or energy to acknowledge efforts. But lest anyone use that as an excuse, we do need to make every effort to appreciate each other.

So those are my thoughts at the moment. I wish that more people understood that. Marriage has only recently been about "love". Love is something that grows with time and is bonded through all of those things above. THAT is what love is. That is what marriage creates and gives to us, if we follow the counsel given and work honestly at it.