So. Today, after a night of crazy dreams and feeling almost panicky that I showed a bit more emotion a day or so ago than I am comfortable with...have I mentioned that I'm fucked? Yeah. But that's not for this. Anyway, a darn rough night and hoping I haven't completely wrecked something, daughter and I headed out on my day off to do some stuff.
She wanted to hit some thrift stores, get food, talk. We did.
Now, I like shopping, but I approach it with purpose when I'm after something. Heck, I plan the stops so that the stores, or whatever, are in a loop, as efficient as possible. In a thrift store I know what I'm needing, and head down the aisles, visually scoping. I needed a couple of short sleeved shirts, one dressier one, at least 2 to wear under, nicer than straight camis, if possible a coat and, my frivolous wish, a dress. But...they all have to either be half price or under $5, and I refuse to hunt. So.
Found the 2 short sleeved shirts very quickly and 2 for under. Next stop the long sleeved white shirt, boom, and after playing with the pimp daddy trenchcoats because it made daughter groan, spotted the exact coat I wanted.
Last stop, followed daughter around, then just knew my dress was there. Walked over to the area, third dress I touched was it. Didn't try it on, just popped the hanger over my head, asked daughter what she thought, threw it in the basket, grabbed a dress for her off the same rack, out we went.
Got home finally, tried it on.
I love it.
I feel like a girl in it.
So excited, I posted a picture. $5!! Didn't even look for it, really. :)
People are being very complimentary, but...
Well, damn it. It bothers me. It's why I don't post many photos of myself.
You see, I have no illusions about my looks. I wish, sometimes desperately which I hate to admit, that I could be pretty. I really do, just being honest. And I know that I'm not. I don't think about it generally, because I can't change it, I'm just me.
I don't like being seen.
Only by some people, and then it's scary as anything I've ever known.
But this. I'm not looking for praise, for compliments, for approval. I'm just me. Excited about this dang dress and I'm gonna wear it every chance I get. Working at the farm, if I get to feel like a girl, then I want to.
Now I'm hiding under bubbles in a tub.
Anyway.
Thanks for listening.
Like you have a choice.
;)
She wanted to hit some thrift stores, get food, talk. We did.
Now, I like shopping, but I approach it with purpose when I'm after something. Heck, I plan the stops so that the stores, or whatever, are in a loop, as efficient as possible. In a thrift store I know what I'm needing, and head down the aisles, visually scoping. I needed a couple of short sleeved shirts, one dressier one, at least 2 to wear under, nicer than straight camis, if possible a coat and, my frivolous wish, a dress. But...they all have to either be half price or under $5, and I refuse to hunt. So.
Found the 2 short sleeved shirts very quickly and 2 for under. Next stop the long sleeved white shirt, boom, and after playing with the pimp daddy trenchcoats because it made daughter groan, spotted the exact coat I wanted.
Last stop, followed daughter around, then just knew my dress was there. Walked over to the area, third dress I touched was it. Didn't try it on, just popped the hanger over my head, asked daughter what she thought, threw it in the basket, grabbed a dress for her off the same rack, out we went.
Got home finally, tried it on.
I love it.
I feel like a girl in it.
So excited, I posted a picture. $5!! Didn't even look for it, really. :)
People are being very complimentary, but...
Well, damn it. It bothers me. It's why I don't post many photos of myself.
You see, I have no illusions about my looks. I wish, sometimes desperately which I hate to admit, that I could be pretty. I really do, just being honest. And I know that I'm not. I don't think about it generally, because I can't change it, I'm just me.
I don't like being seen.
Only by some people, and then it's scary as anything I've ever known.
But this. I'm not looking for praise, for compliments, for approval. I'm just me. Excited about this dang dress and I'm gonna wear it every chance I get. Working at the farm, if I get to feel like a girl, then I want to.
Now I'm hiding under bubbles in a tub.
Anyway.
Thanks for listening.
Like you have a choice.
;)
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