May Day 2011

Gossip and reputation make sure that what comes around-a person who is cruel will find that the others are cruel back to him, and a person who is kind will find others are kind in return. Gossip, paired with reciprocity, allows karma to work here on earth, not in the next life.

Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom, 2005

Interesting choice, I know.

Yesterday evening the news came across the wire that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. My first reaction was of to want proof. To see the body, to see for myself that life was no longer possessed by the mortal shell of this evil man.

My second thought was one of extreme caution. We are in for it now.

The news states that the United States acted alone in the operation that brought justice to many who had endured life-altering agony because of this man. I doubt that. Perhaps in the final blow, yes. But I believe that the US is taking responsibility in order to protect our allies and to put into motion another step in the path.

We know, all of us who pay attention, that this is not the end. This is the beginning of the next part of this battle and it's going to be bloodier than what we have seen to date. Bin Laden has now been made a martyr, something that he wanted and needed to have in order to keep his cause fueled. Our government knew this. Now the question left to ponder is, why move towards check when check-mate is not within our grasp yet?

I believe that we had hit a stalemate. I believe that we had been able to take Laden out many times over in the past and had chosen NOT to. Why? Was it for oil? National security? Part of a pawn's game? Why now?

Gas prices in the US are at the highest they have ever been, and set to go higher. A few weeks ago President Obama said in a statement that we need to prepare for gas to be $5/gallon by the end of this month. He then backed off the statement, I don't know what the reason given was. Now, Bin Laden is killed(still want proof on this one). Absolutely oil prices are going to fly. I see a link between the two items, but it isn't well-defined yet.

The talk around my facebook friends is  of 2 camps. The 1st is the YAHOO! HE'S DEAAAAD, group. They are the die-hard, John Wayne, "go-in-and-take-out-the-bad-guy-and-the-town-will-live-in-peace", folks(they will also HATE that description of themselves). The 2nd camp, which is surprising to me, is made up of "this is not Christian behavior, to rejoice over the death of another", although I find it interesting that these same folks are the ones who speak of their own eventual death as a time for joy as they are reunited with God and Savior. This is a complex situation for many.


I have theories, and they aren't all thorough, but this is my blog and I can put them out into the world here, as is.


The first camp: I get the sentiment. I understand completely the desire to have the bad guy gone and the conflict over. This is, of course, a highly idealized thought and one that is not based even remotely close in reality. But the child self that lives in us wants it to be so, almost desperately. The truth of the conflict and the path that we are on is not easily consumed or accepted. In fact, it is so opposed to how we are geared to think as to be completely unsupportable. I worry for them because they ARE going to have their joy hammered in very short order, and that hurts. But I believe that they will be able to pick themselves up and regroup for the next phase.


The second camp: These folks are the greatest concern to me. At times they seem to have lost focus on the truths of justice, consequence, judgement and that God himself created the laws of all that we are bound by...and those laws, in all forms, demand balance, justice, etc. Christians believe that through the saving grace and ordinances brought to humanity by Jesus Christ, as Savior of all, that we can have our wrongs forgiven and be allowed to dwell with God and Son in the eternities. Yes, I believe that also. But not by simply saying, "Hey, I believe". Faith, without works from the self, is dead. Grace is given freely to all who seek, but they must do their part. This isn't a "get out of jail free" card. That goes against the laws of choice/consequence, justice/mercy, etc. I also feel that they are fearful of emotion. It is not wrong to feel anger, or pain, or relief, or even a spark of joy at the thought of a madman being taken down. There is not danger in these feelings unless we lose our sense and begin to freely react in response to them. Being a devout Christian does not mean that we cease to be human, to explore and experience. It does not mean that we are not allowed to feel and express all ranges of emotions. There is a fear that I do not understand anymore. These things are not wrong. It is the refusal to balance that is the worry. And these folks give me the greatest cause for alarm. They are so willing to throw away the harder stands of justice and the temporal judgement that we are recquired to make that they allow everything to come in and be accepted. Everything, except those feelings that keep common sense alive. God didn't make us to be empty vessels needing Him to tell us how to think and feel. He made us as thinking, feeling, acting people and expects for us to stand on our feet. Use him as a guide, not an excuse.


So where do I stand?
I am glad that Bin Laden is dead. In all truth, he had it coming. And he knew it. Karma? Sure. He put himself on the path. Has justice been served? Well, how many thousands have died by his planning? I don't think that it has been served, but this was definitely due. I feel no remorse or pity for him, none at all. His eternity isn't for me to judge and monitor.


If you want to take things biblically, all signs in the world point toward the 2nd coming as being imminent. Certain events are still key and need to occur. This killing of Bin Laden could well be the catalyst that has been missing to bring those events to a head. The roots have been layed out, the rumblings and framework put into place. I have been wondering what would need to happen to flesh it out, and I believe that will begin soon.


But not before May 21st. That, supposedly, according to a large group of fundamentalist based Christians, is the rapture. 19 days away. Hmmm...


I am very cautious. We are going to get hit, hard. It has to happen. We all knew that, I think. It could not go on as it was. We had been at stall for too long. It was a matter of when it was deemed to be the most advantageous to make the move. I wonder why now?


Bin Laden knew that he needed the martyrdom, it was planned for that all along. I think all the world's governments knew it as well. It gives a new and much more frightening depth and definition to the fight. Again, why was now chosen as the correct time to set this into motion?


Does it have anything to do with our economy? Obama cut the military down pretty low and pulled troops out of countries, but we have to have that military base if for nothing else than the economic boost it gives. Is the strike in order to allow for the increase again while saving face for the man who just tossed his hat into the upcoming presidential race? Is it to give the rising gas prices an excuse?


The storm that will now begin is going to shock many. Don't discount these words.


I lived with the culture for almost 25 years. I did not embrace it for acceptance, but for understanding. What I know is that the middle eastern people and the western people do NOT think alike. Our actual brain processes are different, in most cases, opposite. I kid you not. The things they say are not to be taken as we take them, and so we misunderstand. They hear our words of sincerity and to them it means something completely different and so when they react as they would in their world, we are stunned. Many were furious with Obama over his approach to the almost-uprising in Iran 2 summers ago. But there was no other tact he could take. It was a set-up by the Iranian government, and in part by the people as well. I recognized it from the way my life had been orchestrated, and I saw that there was nothing that could be done except to sit and wait it out.


And so that's really all we can do now. Be prepared, do our emergency prep as we've been instructed, and wait. The storm, she is coming. And she's almost perfect.

Interesting...

Not trying to be serious or super-reflective on this blog, overall...but it's going to come out that way right now. I'll be goofy in a moment, promise. :)


Had an interesting evening, last. Masoud wanted to meet up at Fred Meyer, "for groceries". Now, this is code for seeing Emma. It's been a darn rough month financially and another one coming up, so I agreed to drop other plans to meet off the cuff like that. It's been awhile since he and Emma have visited, he's been out of the country for several weeks and hadn't seen her for a few prior to that(really, you would think that he lived terribly far away instead of a mere 1/2 hour), and she wasn't particularly pleased about having to see him. I know that she may not realize it now, but someday she will be glad of a relationship with him that is more positive than not. At least, I sure do hope that she will be. That's why I try very hard to not talk negatively about him or what has happened, just matter-of-factly when anything comes up that can't be avoided.


Emma and I are always there on time, but always much earlier than he is, so we get started right away, meandering around, planning and talking about meals, school snacks, etc. When her father gets to the store, I send them off on their own and make myself disappear. The visit isn't about me, and I don't want to be the one that they both hang on to because it seems easier than dealing with each other.


Here's the thing that I want to talk to somebody about...and since there isn't anybody, it becomes this blogspot.


I've noticed that the past few times that we've met up(over the course of the past several months), I feel nothing. Really.


After the seperation, when we first moved out(at his request), it was the most painful thing in the world. I couldn't call him any of the endearments or nicknames that had been accumulated over the decades, I couldn't touch his arm or stand nearby as we had always done. I just didn't know what to do or how to "be". Afterward, I'd be a shaking, shivering mess and cry for the rest of the night from the overflow of emotion. It just wasn't worth the toll, for me alone, but Emma needed that contact with him and I could be a big girl and suck it up...somehow.


During this time I kept up with my therapy, working very hard at overcoming the pain and growing through it. There wasn't any avoiding it anymore and I'd given up that foolish thought, so it was clear that moving through the situation was the only way to go. Hopefully, I'd drop the negative emotions and pain along the path so that when I came out of the darkness they would no longer be my companions and I would find that I had opened up doors to accept new and positive thoughts and feelings. I'd been meeting with counselors over the years to deal with the issues that had always been alive during our marriage, but I needed something different, something that could help me to identify root issues and rid myself of them. The therapist that I found was working with an approach called T3 magnetic therapy, and it involved a certain awareness and open spirit in order to be effective. Very interesting, something to go into more depth here about another time. But to nutshell it, core issues are uncovered and then removed through a particular approach, new belief systems are found and sort of implanted through the use of very powerful magnets. There is a very definite physical and spiritual reaction, it takes a few days for the system to re-balance and re-set. During this time sleep patterns are disrupted, thought processes are a bit more scattered, or more highly focused. It depends on the the situation. I know that it sounds rather hocus-pocus, hoodoo voodoo, but it isn't. Definitely not for the person who isn't wholly invested in the outcome, however,  as it was a tough haul emotionally over the time that we took. But in the end, the results were just what I had hoped for. I felt, each time, a complete release from the negative thought patterns that had plagued me for my life, and to this day cannot recall them to me. They are gone.


How did this help me heal from the divorce? Well, I knew all along that the marriage was not a good one. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't be the person that he needed for me to be. Nothing was enough, ever. This played into patterns from my youth and I knew no other way for life to be. I can say this now without anger or blame. He did not love me, nor did he like me. There was a certain depth of responsibility that he felt toward me, after so many years, but the other had not ever existed for him. The truth was that our marriage was, to him, a business arrangement. It was to help bring his family here, and once that had been accomplished in full, the exit began. I sensed it for several years before but put it away, not wanting to deal with the issues in myself.


So now I had released old core beliefs that were flawed and incorrect and held positive and more correct ones in myself. And I found that the pain was almost gone...just like that.


Do I miss my old life? Yes. I miss the home on Camano. I miss the gardens, the space, the simplicity of growing our food, raising the children, the feeling of purpose...I miss the luxury of spending a summer's day in the gardens, planning and cooking with the foods that I harvested, washing the clothing and putting it out on the line to dry in the sun, exploring and walking with the girls, caring for the animals. I miss it quite desperately at times. It was a lovely time and I can at least say that I appreciated it at the time as much.


But...Do I miss him?


No.


I miss what I had hoped we could be, but never were, so is that missing, really? I don't think so.


We weren't close, ever. I wanted to share thoughts, feelings, dreams, goals, interests, joys and sadnesses as they came along. We didn't.


After we found out that Emma was coming along, we shared nothing else as well. And that was for many, many years before our marriage ended legally.


So where is all of this going?


This is the interesting thing to me...after all those years of living together, when I see him now I feel nothing. Nothing. I feel more when I look at a stranger and wonder about their life than I do when I see this man. Just, nothing. Not anger. Not loss. Not sadness. Perhaps a hint of pity, because I know in time he will miss his children and what he does now will pave the way for any possibilities in the future...and I see him blowing that away.


I can honestly say that, except for how he went about it, I am really glad that this has happened. I am me and I like me, for the most part. I know that I am a good person and I know that I am trying to do my best. I am not complacent by any means. Just not beaten down anymore by the thought that I am of no worth. My friends, my hopes and dreams, interests and hobbies are no longer ridiculed and I am free to love them and grow through them, to use them to do good things.


Some people expect for me to be quite sour on men or marriage, given the traumatic way that all of this occurred. It WAS brutal, yes. It didn't need to be, but it was. I still can't talk about it all, people only know small pieces and their shock is enough to just stop me. Nothing else needs to be said at this point, and if it ever comes up that anyone needs to know it all then that will be a different situation. BUT, I'm not sour on men. NOT AT ALL. And I'm not against marriage, AT ALL. And I'm not gay, for crying out loud. I like men quite a bit, thank you very much! I actually think that they are pretty wonderful, in fact. :)


So, the real upshot here? T3 is fantastic, and so is a pantry full of groceries!!! :)
Thanks for "listening". Helps to get it out.

Just finished working Camelot

I am working as costume manager with Lyric Light Opera again! Say YAY (yay). Thanks. I'm really grateful to be able to be back with them, to have theatre be a part of me once more. Didn't know that anything had changed? That's understandable. It's been awhile.


2 years ago, when my marriage was falling to ruin around me, I began desperately trying to "fix" it, any way that I could. I removed from my life anything and everything that was ever mentioned as an irritation in an effort to be whoever it was that he wanted me to be. Funny thing, though, is that I had spent over 2 decades doing the same thing and it hadn't helped, but I couldn't see it at the time. I was in the middle of costuming The Sound Of Music for LLO when it was spoken of as an issue and I decided that I needed to pull it out of my life. Just as I was doing that, however, I discovered just how far things had deteriorated and there was no hope of salvaging anything. I pulled out of the show anyway, knowing that I would be of no good to anybody, and I had to begin survival strategizing.


During that time I dumped most of my friends, withdrew almost completely from everything and, unfortunately and unintentionally, offended everyone that I knew. They wanted to talk and to understand what was happening, to give me love and support, but I couldn't say a word to anyone, and with my obliterated heart I couldn't feel anything other than the searing pain that ruled my life. I thank God for the girls, they needed me and that got me moving everyday.


Fast forward to today...I've spent alot of time in the past year-plus, reconnecting, apologizing, being very transparent and open about everything. I have begged forgiveness for hurts that I caused that I never meant to do, and in most cases all is well. The hardest of all was to go to Debbie and Brenda, after all that we had been through, and explain what had happened. I knew that they would have understood at the time, had I been able to verbalize anything. But I couldn't, and I hope that someday I will forget the look on Brenda's face when I quit on her during that show. Being the beautiful women that they are, with their gracious hearts, they allowed me to return and in doing so have given me such a gift of life that I can never repay them.


Theatre, for me, is a necessary part of life now. I have beautiful, happy memories(during an unhappy time) of being a child in North Carolina, allowed to run freely through an old theatre house while my mom did costuming for the local company. It must have been their tech weeks when these fabulous adventures occurred, because there were always alot of starts and stops and people moving lights around and hustle/bustle going on. I remember watching my mother, through an open doorway, on her knees with pins in her mouth, fixing the hem on a dress. I also remember her marking the back of a suit jacket, and I was shocked. SHOCKED! I was most definitely NOT allowed to mark on my OWN clothes, what was she doing, to somebody ELSE'S clothes???


I wasn't allowed to talk to her during these times(good thing, given that whole suit situation, which she explained later after discovering why I was pouting and giving her the silent treatment), but I could go anywhere in the building that didn't have a locked door. I watched a record being made once. Actually made. Wax, turntable, grooves, sound...it was so cool! I used to sit in as many seats as I could, to see which was the best one. I played critic, scribbling squiggly lines on paper (cursive writing, you know), chewing on the eraser, nodding my head sagely or tsking every now and again. I remember the director asking me once, as I sat in the very back of the house, if I could hear a particular line. I also remember a young man singing "Mr. Bojangles" and kicking his heels together, so high in the air that it looked like he was flying!


But what I remember with the greatest clarity, is how the theatre smelled and how the sound was so different there, held and contained...a song freely sung, yet captured in it's real state. Not like a recording, which is only a piece of itself. It's hard to put into words.


During dress rehearsal, I wasn't allowed to run the house. I was plopped in the center seat of the front row, with snacks, my blankie, my pillow and my stuffed pony (uniquely named Horsie...I still have him). Warm in my jammies, I would put my head on my pillow, which was always on the left armrest, pull my blankie around me, Horsie under my chin, and settle in, a captive audience. Sometimes the cast would wave or wink at me from the stage. There was a dreamlike, other worldly, feeling to those nights. I remember that I felt enclosed inside the hold of the house, smelling the light mustiness of the seats and curtains, the wood, the paint from the sets. I remember the shuffle and stomp of the dancers across the stage and the solid way that everything sounded. There was nothing light or wispy, it was secure. And warm. And safe.


I would wake up briefly as I was being carried to the car, usually by one of the young men in the cast. And then I would need to wait until the next show to be back there.


And that's what hits me, all at once, everytime I walk into an empty house during tech week. That's why I love tech week, known as Hell Week to most. As soon as I can, I walk to center stage and just stand there, alone, saying hello to my memories and welcoming them back like the precious friends that they are, pieces of my heart returning to home, after weeks of preparing for them during planning and rehearsals. I feel my mother there and I understand her. Even though the whole experience of the theatre was very short in comparison to the rest of my life, it was powerful.


My voice isn't reliable enough since my throat was damaged by a severe case of whooping cough a few years ago to allow me to perform(ensemble only, of course), but I give my gift through serving those who can. With each one of them, a part of me enters the stage and participates in the story. I stress on opening night, attacked by nerves so much so that I am completely sick to my stomach. I dance with them offstage, my heart soaring and singing with them so loudly I wonder that no one can hear it. I want to explode with happiness when they are pleased with their performances and I want to hold them when they are upset. I doubt that they ever know, or could ever guess, how deeply I care for them, how much it matters to me. I am certain that the ones who never leave my heart are unaware. I feel frozen and unable to share what I feel...so I try to show it in ways that are likely never recognized. But I know and with that I take satisfaction.


How could I have shoved this from my life? How far down into despair had I fallen to think that it would help to destroy myself? I was in hell, yes. I rehomed animals, I left my gardens, I gave away all of my possessions except what I needed to function each day. I stopped writing, I stopped dancing, gardening, star gazing and beach walking. I denied myself of everything that brought me happiness before I realized what I was doing.


But coming out of that darkness, back into the light of living, back into the arms of my life, is a sweetness that I would not have known without that journey. I have faced my greatest fears, walked down the path that I didn't choose, and what gifts have I been given? As far as theatre is concerned, never before did the house smell so much of me in all of my memories, never before had the songs been sung so sweetly...never before did I not worry about the jabbed fingers or the lost sleep. Never did the shed tears at success bring such a cleansing joy, even when spilled in private, away from eyes that couldn't know how right it all was. And a story such as Camelot...what could have been more perfect? It was a gift to me, the final closure on a sad book and the affirmation that this was part of a new beginning for me.


I have been finding home again, the home in myself that brings me peace and happiness. In nature, which will surprise nobody who knows me, in simple little things like frogs, tiny flowers, the laughter of those that I care for. In music, in friends, in laughter, in the subtle sharing of selves, in hard work and in the quiet times in between.


And I have found... But that is another post, for another time.

Who Says That Vacations Are Relaxing? Survival, Day Two

As I lay there on the sand, resting, I think that I must have actually slept. I don't really remember anything until I felt water on my feet. That shocked me! I was sick of water! At that moment, I didn't care if I never swam again, or even sat in a bathtub for that matter. I scrambled further up the sand and decided that I had probably better stand up and start walking around. I did, and also began to look at what was around me. Behind me was a gigantic rock in the water that came up to a point. My brain was working enough to tell me that the tide was coming in and that was why the rock seemed to be separate from the land I was on at the moment. But wait, if the tide was coming in, I needed to move...somewhere. Where? There was a lot of sandy beach around me, and then a little rise that seemed to run the length of the beach. That seemed like a safer bet at the moment, and easy enough for me to manage in my tired state, so I headed there.


There was a lot of grass along the base of the little hill, and there were trees on the hill itself. I remember thinking that shade would be nice, because it was really sunny, hot and really, really humid. Oh, great; now I remembered how thirsty I was. Man. Where was my mom when I really needed her?


Even though I really just wanted to sit and cry for a while, something in me said that I had to get busy. I knew that I needed to eat, I needed shelter, and boy! did I need water!


I shaded my eyes and looked toward the rest of the island that I was on. I tried to remember as much as I could from my Survival class at school about how landforms can mean different things...did a plateau mean that there could be a lake up there? Maybe a river or creek or something? I saw that the hill that I was standing on when close to the edge of the water, and hoped that maybe there would be a stream there, or something. I tried to listen for the sound of water, but with the ocean around me, that was kind of all I could hear anyway.


I didn't have far to walk before I could tell that there was some kind of fresh water close by. It might sound weird, but it was almost like I could smell it. I kept moving and there was a small stream, flowing downhill and into the ocean through a channel in the sand. I ran to it and just put my face into that beautiful, cold water. I remembered my mom not letting our dogs drink too much when they were really hot, something about them getting sick, so I made myself stop. Sure enough, after a couple of minutes I threw up. EW! But I rested there, under the shade of a little tree( almost a big bush, really), and then drank a little to see if it would stay down. It did.


While I was resting and waiting, I looked closely at the stream. There were rocks and grass, and visible through the really clear water were little fish! I heard a noise and saw a frog on the back, watching me through little black eyes. It made me feel less alone to see other living things.


After I felt better, I looked around more at where I was. I didn't know what time it was, but it seemed like it would be dark soon. That seemed scary to me, so I wanted to find a place to sleep where I would feel safe...well, safer, at any rate.


There really was a lot to be said for where I was, as far as staying in a good place. There was water, it was close enough to the beach so that I could hopefully be visible while waving at the rescue plane that was going to come for me. It was! I couldn't think that it wouldn't. It had to make sense. They'd miss me soon, if not already, and have to go back to where they had last seen me - right? Of course they would! They, at least, should have a better idea of where I was. All I knew was that I was on an island in the ocean, somewhere around Singapore.


Anyway, I also had the bushy trees to huddle under, and I thought that maybe some of the grasses might make a kind of mat to lie on top of. For the first time, I thought about my clothes. Luckily I hadn't just worn a bathing suit out snorkeling, but a had worn a wetsuit over my leggings, socks and shirt. Whew! I also had a small pack that I had strapped around me with little bits of stuff in it. That meant I had underwear also! I don't know why that made me feel better, but it sure did.


I walked just down the small hill to get some of the grass on the beach and found that it didn't pull out of the ground very easily. Hmmm. This could be a problem, I remember thinking. I just didn't know if there was anything that would help from my pack, but I saw some shells lying on the beach and then I had an idea! I wondered if I could hack at the grasses with the shells and cut them down, since pulling them out wasn't going to work. I gave it a try, and even though it was hard, and took a long time, it did work. I carried the arm full of grass back to my "spot" and spread it out on the ground. I rolled up my wetsuit for a pillow and figured that would be good enough. It'd only be for one night, anyway, I was sure of that.


I was awfully hungry, but after some more water and shifting around, it was getting dark. I was really more tired than anything else. Time enough to find food in the morning, I thought. The dark just seemed to close in on me then. It was full of strange noises and smells. I think that there were bugs crawling over me, but then I spotted some little geckos darting around on the branches over my head. I love geckos, and I knew that there were a lot of them in the Singapore area, so I wasn't scared of them. Besides, I figured, they would eat the bugs around me. At least it was warm out.


I wished that I was home, with my cozy bed and my teddy bear. The stars were awfully pretty; it was a really clear night. I cried a little more, and then I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

"Sixteen Most Amazing Days Of My Life" - day 1

 I live in Stanwood, Washington. I have just experienced the most amazing 16 days of my life.


It all started on November 19th when my friend, Nicole, told me that she and her family had been saving for a cruise to Singapore. Her sister wasn't able to go because of college exams so they had an extra ticket and they offered it to me! I was so excited! I could hardly stand it while the two moms talked about arrangements and plans, but when they were done, it was okay and I was going to Singapore!


Since I was leaving the next morning, Mom and I hurried and did shopping and packing to get ready. I didn't think that I would sleep at all, I was so excited, but I was also worn out from all of the preparations, so sleep did happen. Before I knew it, it was morning and time to get up and get moving!


My mom wasn't going to be able to go to the airport with us because she had to take care of my grandmother, but she did drive me south to Lake Stevens, where Nicole lives. After a lot of double-checking, and hugging, some crying and more hugging, I got into Nicole's family's van and we headed to Sea-Tac Airport.


After checking in for our flights to San Francisco and boarding the plane, I settled down and realized how long it was going to take to get us to the actual "cruise" part of this trip...about two days! We flew from Seattle to San Francisco, which took two hours, then had a seven hour layover waiting for the next leg of the journey. From San Francisco we went to Sydney, Australia, a 15-hour flight. After another two and a half hours, we boarded our last plane for that part of the trip and flew four hours to Darwin, Australia, where the ship was waiting. After 31 hours and 10,055 miles, my dream vacation was about to begin.


The ship set said the next morning. It was so cool watching it pull out of the harbor! I had never been on anything larger than one of our Washington Ferries, so this was pretty amazing. It was so big! I think that at least half of my town could have fit on this thing! There were lots of activities to keep us busy, shuffleboard, swimming, dance classes, movies and even a spa day.


When we started out on the ship, we were south of the equator, but as we sailed through, past and around all the hundreds of little islands, we crossed over to the Northern Hemisphere. It was kind of a big deal I guess, but I didn't really see any difference around me. The temperature seemed to be the same almost every day, and the sun was pretty much always shining.


We reached Singapore on the seventh day of the cruise, and spent most of a day ashore exploring the city. It was so different from any of the cities that I've ever been in. I was really glad that I wasn't alone and that Nicole's mom and dad were there! There were alot of monkey and birds and geckos. Geckos were everywhere! I guess they are good luck to the people. Good thing!


After passing on some really strange looking food and buying little doo-dads for my friends and family back home, it was time to board the ship again. I was really happy that there was pizza for dinner that night, because I was really hungry!


The ship left Singapore that night. It was pretty, looking at the city all lit up in the night. It was something that I will always remember.


The next day we had the opportunity to take a small boat out with a group to go snorkeling in some of the shallower waters around the islands. I had never been snorkeling, so I was really excited! I love to swim. After we got into the water and got our instructions, off I went. It was so amazing, looking at the fish and the turtles and the rocks and stuff. I think that I must have lost track of time and where I was, because when I got a little tired and looked up, I didn't know where I was. I couldn't see anybody else, I couldn't see the boat, I couldn't hear anything except the water and the birds and my heart thudding! I screamed and hollered, hoping that somebody would hear me, but nobody showed up or hollered back. Where was everyone??


I was getting really tired, so I looked around for a place to rest. There was a little island not too far off. I decided that with swimming and then floating on my back to rest that I could make it easily enough, so I started out. I don't know how long it took me to get there, but I was able to stand on the bottom of the water and walk onto shore. I dropped to the ground, wet, cold, hungry, and very, very tired. So there I was. Alone. Cold. Wet. Hungry. Tired. And apparently lost and stranded on an island in the middle of...where?


Would I ever be rescued?

The island

The island created is called "High Point Island". The EH country was Singapore, so the accurate geographic qualities of the island are patterned after those of Singapore City.


Singapore City is located at 1 degree N, 103 degree E of the equator. It's average elevation is 538 ft. The average yearly rainfall total is 141.70", with it's driest month averaging 5". Because of it's location so close to the equator, the temperature varies very little, with high temps hovering right around 85 F all year long and the lows rarely dipping below 73 F.


The interpretation is in the shape of The Beast from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. It is a profile shot of The Beast holding the Enchanted Rose in his hand/paw. The High Point, giving the island it's name, is a centrally located plateau. On the north and west sides of the island the elevation drops to sea level dramatically, but slopes more gradually down on the south end. There is a lake located on the plateau, which drops over falls and travels to the sea by way of 3 tributaries, all located on the south side. This graphing of elevation is very important, as in the class the students will need to be able to find water and travel a bit on the island, but in a realistic manner.


The size of the island is about 12 miles measuring W to E, and close to 20 miles N to S. The chosen flora are orchids, plush grass, rosemary pea, aloe, ru tree, and egyptian finger grass. There are alot more indigenous to Singapore, but the guidelines required the students to list no more than 6, so choices were made based on projected needs for survival, and for the travel portion. Chosen fauna are geckos, asian toads, octopus, damsel flies, starfish, flying lemurs and wild pigs. Yes, that's one more than should have been put, but she couldn't choose between pigs and lemurs! :D


That may seem confusing still, for which I apologize. It is difficult to explain the true face of the class without being in the midst of it. But you can see from this, hopefully, the hyper-tight continuity that is needed in order for this project to be successful. Add to that the fact that most of the planning is done without a clear picture of what will truly be needed, but after which no more editing can be done, and you can see the "survival" aspect come into view. No matter how badly you may want to go back and choose different flora and fauna, in order to better facilitate the need for shelter or food, you cannot. You also cannot "invent" tarps that are left, etc. The only supplies that you are allowed to have are those items that you were wearing the day that the list was made, and what was in your school backpack on that particular day. A note on that...there was absolutely no warning on which day this would be, nor was any advance notice of such a day given. There was no way to pre-plan for the list by stuffing your backpack! :D


If you end up shipwrecked, as you means of becoming stranded, the boat must sink at least 500 ft off shore and cannot be used for firewood or shelter. Whatever it is that helped you get to the island, mysteriously disappears when you step foot on shore.


3 items were gifted to the students. They each received a small flashlight, a pencil sharpener and a notepad. The notepad is important because they are supposed to be journaling their experiences. :D This is a language arts class above all, don't forget! :D


I think that's all of the criteria...it's all that I can remember at the moment at any rate. Now, onward to begin the journey.

Survival 101

Hey!
So there's this class at my daughter's school (Homelink, parent/partnership program through Lake Stevens School District, thank you very much) called Survival. The basic premise of the class is to teach geography, social studies, and language arts all in one. The students choose an Eastern Hemisphere country and pattern a make-believe island after the capital city of that country. The island they design can be styled anyway they would like, as long as it is kind of realistic. It will be plopped down in the ocean on the same latitude/longitude lines as the city they have, and will also need to have elevation, flora and fauna maps made with the same accurate info. They are to graph by month the precipitation and temperatures, and use all of this information to create their creative "scenario" involving a surviving situation.

"Where Happiness Begins" by Donald Culross Peattie

A wonderful essay by author and naturalist Donald Culross Peattie. Found in "A New Treasury of Words to Live By - selected and interpreted by nineity eminent men and women", edited by William Nichols. Published in 1956 by Simon and Schuster.

"Where Happiness Begins"

"There is no duty we underrate so much as the duty of being happy."
Robert Louis Stevenson

Now there's a bit of morality as manly as it is smiling! I never did become convinced of what I was so smugly told in childhood: "Be good and you will be happy." Whereas I am quite sure that if you are happy you will be good.

People who generate this inner sunshine make life pleasanter for those around them. Their impulses lead to right action; their thoughts are usually true. They have their roots in some deep, shining faith.

Now, anyone can be in good spirits when the luck is running his way. But happiness is not always the result of fortune. It is frequently a virtue, and a brave one. Happiness comes of the grace to accept life gratefully and make the most of the best of it.

That isn't always easy, or R.L.S. would not elsewhere have spoken of his "great TASK of happiness." Very naturally we all resent those tiresome Pollyannas who foist their cheerfulness upon us regardless of our fate and feelings. Only the whiners and the grumblers are harder to bear with. And those spoiled children of privilege who waste the joys they have by not knowing they have them.

But look around you at some of the others! Every day I meet them, men and women whom I know to have such trials or disappointments or poverty of opportunity that I marvel at their faces. They are not only brave; they are getting some joy out of life. Such people, I think, improve the climate of our world. They put heart in others to shoulder gallantly the great duty of happiness.

So, lifting one another's spirit, we can get through even our times of trouble. We will not miss the chances of pleasure in a sunset or the face of a friend at the door. And to those faithful in this daily duty of happiness may a rewarding Providence vouchsafe many an unexpected moment of real delight!

With all of the press and noise in the news over the past while regarding same-sex marriage and knowing several same-gender couples of whom I have high regard as individuals, I have had to do much deep digging and soul searching to identify and understand my own personal feelings regarding the issue. The folks that I know are wonderful, giving, kind people. I hold no grudge nor malice in anyway, nor do I show them any lack of personal respect or differentiate how I treat them...because I do appreciate them and their efforts to live a good life. I sympathize with their struggles in their lives and have great regard for their courage. I am, however, finding that for my own personal truth of conviction, I must take a stand in regards to the legal and eternal bonds of marriage. This stand does in no way reflect my feelings towards those that I care for, and while I am firm and adamant in my support of the following words, I must confess that I feel sorrow for my friends and acquaintances. I do understand the desire to bind oneself in a deeper sense to those that one loves. I pray for us all in this matter of understanding, forgiving and upholding. Now for the article.


Source: http://www.newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/

The Divine Institution of Marriage

SALT LAKE CITY 13 August 2008

Introduction
The California Supreme Court recently ruled that same-sex marriage was legal in California.
Recognizing the importance of marriage to society, the Church accepted an invitation to participate in ProtectMarriage, a coalition of churches, organizations, and individuals sponsoring a November ballot measure, Proposition 8, that would amend the California state constitution to ensure that only a marriage between a man and a woman would be legally recognized. (Information about the coalition can be found at http://www.protectmarriage.com/).

On June 20, 2008, the First Presidency of the Church distributed a letter about “Preserving Traditional Marriage and Strengthening Families,” announcing the Church’s participation with the coalition. The letter, which was read in Latter-day Saints’ church services in California, asked that Church members “do all [they] can to support the proposed constitutional amendment.”

Members of the Church in Arizona and Florida will also be voting on constitutional amendments regarding marriage in their states, where coalitions similar to California’s are now being formed.

The focus of the Church’s involvement is specifically same-sex marriage and its consequences.

The Church does not object to rights (already established in California) regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the family or the constitutional rights of churches and their adherents to administer and practice their religion free from government interference.
The Church has a single, undeviating standard of sexual morality: intimate relations are proper only between a husband and a wife united in the bonds of matrimony.

The Church’s opposition to same-sex marriage neither constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility towards homosexual men and women. Protecting marriage between a man and a woman does not affect Church members’ Christian obligations of love, kindness and humanity toward all people.

As Church members decide their own appropriate level of involvement in protecting marriage between a man and a woman, they should approach this issue with respect for others, understanding, honesty, and civility.

Intending to reduce misunderstanding and ill will, the Church has produced the following document, “The Divine Institution of Marriage,” and provided the accompanying links to other materials, to explain its reasons for defending marriage between a man and a woman as an issue of moral imperative.

The Divine Institution of Marriage
Marriage is sacred, ordained of God from before the foundation of the world. After creating Adam and Eve, the Lord God pronounced them husband and wife, of which Adam said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Jesus Christ cited Adam’s declaration when he affirmed the divine origins of the marriage covenant: “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.”

In 1995, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” declared the following unchanging truths regarding marriage:

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children . . . The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.

The Proclamation also teaches, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” The account in Genesis of Adam and Eve being created and placed on earth emphasizes the creation of two distinct genders: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

Marriage between a man and a woman is central to the plan of salvation. The sacred nature of marriage is closely linked to the power of procreation. Only a man and a woman together have the natural biological capacity to conceive children. This power of procreation – to create life and bring God’s spirit children into the world – is sacred and precious. Misuse of this power undermines the institution of the family and thereby weakens the social fabric. Strong families serve as the fundamental institution for transmitting to future generations the moral strengths, traditions, and values that sustain civilization. As the Universal Declaration of Human Rights affirms, “The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society.”

Marriage is not primarily a contract between individuals to ratify their affections and provide for mutual obligations. Rather, marriage and family are vital instruments for rearing children and teaching them to become responsible adults. While governments did not invent marriage, throughout the ages governments of all types have recognized and affirmed marriage as an essential institution in preserving social stability and perpetuating life itself. Hence, regardless of whether marriages were performed as a religious rite or a civil ceremony, married couples in almost every culture have been granted special benefits aimed primarily at sustaining their relationship and promoting the environment in which children are reared. A husband and a wife do not receive these benefits to elevate them above any other two people who may share a residence or social tie, but rather in order to preserve, protect, and defend the all-important institutions of marriage and family.

It is true that some couples who marry will not have children, either by choice or because of infertility, but the special status of marriage is nonetheless closely linked to the inherent powers and responsibilities of procreation, and to the inherent differences between the genders. Co-habitation under any guise or title is not a sufficient reason for defining new forms of marriage.

High rates of divorce and out-of-wedlock births have resulted in an exceptionally large number of single parents in American society. Many of these single parents have raised exemplary children; nevertheless, extensive studies have shown that in general a husband and wife united in a loving, committed marriage provide the optimal environment for children to be protected, nurtured, and raised. This is not only because of the substantial personal resources that two parents can bring to bear on raising a child, but because of the differing strengths that a father and a mother, by virtue of their gender, bring to the task. As the prominent sociologist David

Popenoe has said:
The burden of social science evidence supports the idea that gender differentiated parenting is important for human development and that the contribution of fathers to childrearing is unique and irreplaceable.

Popenoe explained that:
. . . The complementarity of male and female parenting styles is striking and of enormous importance to a child’s overall development. It is sometimes said that fathers express more concern for the child’s longer-term development, while mothers focus on the child’s immediate well-being (which, of course, in its own way has everything to do with a child’s long-term well-being). What is clear is that children have dual needs that must be met: one for independence and the other for relatedness, one for challenge and the other for support.
Social historian David Blankenhorn makes a similar argument in his book Fatherless America. In an ideal society, every child would be raised by both a father and a mother.

Challenges to Marriage and Family
Our modern era has seen traditional marriage and family – defined as a husband and wife with children in an intact marriage – come increasingly under assault. Sexual morality has declined and infidelity has increased. Since 1960, the proportion of children born out of wedlock has soared from 5.3 percent to 38.5 percent (2006). Divorce has become much more common and accepted, with the United States having one of the highest divorce rates in the world. Since 1973, abortion has taken the lives of over 45 million innocents. At the same time, entertainment standards continue to plummet, and pornography has become a scourge afflicting and addicting many victims. Gender differences increasingly are dismissed as trivial, irrelevant, or transient, thus undermining God’s purpose in creating both men and women.

In recent years in the United States and other countries, a movement has emerged to promote same-sex marriage as an inherent or constitutional right. This is not a small step, but a radical change: instead of society tolerating or accepting private, consensual sexual behavior between adults, advocates of same-sex marriage seek its official endorsement and recognition.
Court decisions in Massachusetts (2004) and California (2008) have allowed same-sex marriages. This trend constitutes a serious threat to marriage and family. The institution of marriage will be weakened, resulting in negative consequences for both adults and children.

In November 2008, California voters will decide whether to amend their state constitution to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has joined in a broad coalition of other denominations, organizations, and individuals to encourage voter approval of this amendment.

The people of the United States – acting either directly or through their elected representatives – have recognized the crucial role that traditional marriage has played and must continue to play in American society if children and families are to be protected and moral values propagated.
Forty-four states have passed legislation making clear that marriage is between a man and a woman. More than half of those states, twenty-seven in all, have done so by constitutional amendments like the ones pending in California, Arizona, and Florida.

In contrast, those who would impose same-sex marriage on American society have chosen a different course. Advocates have taken their case to the state courts, asking judges to remake the institution of marriage that society has accepted and depended upon for millennia. Yet, even in this context, a broad majority of courts – six out of eight state supreme courts – have upheld traditional marriage laws. Only two, Massachusetts and now California, have gone in the other direction, and then, only by the slimmest of margins – 4 to 3 in both cases.

In sum, there is very strong agreement across America on what marriage is. As the people of California themselves recognized when they voted on this issue just eight years ago, traditional marriage is essential to society as a whole, and especially to its children. Because this question strikes at the very heart of the family, because it is one of the great moral issues of our time, and because it has the potential for great impact upon the family, the Church is speaking out on this issue, and asking members to get involved.

Tolerance, Same-Sex Marriage and Religious Freedom
Those who favor homosexual marriage contend that “tolerance” demands that they be given the same right to marry as heterosexual couples. But this appeal for “tolerance” advocates a very different meaning and outcome than that word has meant throughout most of American history and a different meaning than is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Savior taught a much higher concept, that of love. “Love thy neighbor,” He admonished. Jesus loved the sinner even while decrying the sin, as evidenced in the case of the woman taken in adultery: treating her kindly, but exhorting her to “sin no more.” Tolerance as a gospel principle means love and forgiveness of one another, not “tolerating” transgression.

In today’s secular world, the idea of tolerance has come to mean something entirely different. Instead of love, it has come to mean condone – acceptance of wrongful behavior as the price of friendship. Jesus taught that we love and care for one another without condoning transgression. But today’s politically palatable definition insists that unless one accepts the sin he does not tolerate the sinner.

As Elder Dallin H. Oaks has explained,
Tolerance obviously requires a non-contentious manner of relating toward one another’s differences. But tolerance does not require abandoning one’s standards or one’s opinions on political or public policy choices. Tolerance is a way of reacting to diversity, not a command to insulate it from examination.

The Church does not condone abusive treatment of others and encourages its members to treat all people with respect. However, speaking out against practices with which the Church disagrees on moral grounds – including same-sex marriage – does not constitute abuse or the frequently misused term “hate speech.” We can express genuine love and friendship for the homosexual family member or friend without accepting the practice of homosexuality or any re-definition of marriage.

Legalizing same-sex marriage will affect a wide spectrum of government activities and policies. Once a state government declares that same-sex unions are a civil right, those governments almost certainly will enforce a wide variety of other policies intended to ensure that there is no discrimination against same-sex couples. This may well place “church and state on a collision course.”

The prospect of same-sex marriage has already spawned legal collisions with the rights of free speech and of action based on religious beliefs. For example, advocates and government officials in certain states already are challenging the long-held right of religious adoption agencies to follow their religious beliefs and only place children in homes with both a mother and a father. As a result, Catholic Charities in Boston has stopped offering adoption services.

Other advocates of same-sex marriage are suggesting that tax exemptions and benefits be withdrawn from any religious organization that does not embrace same-sex unions. Public accommodation laws are already being used as leverage in an attempt to force religious organizations to allow marriage celebrations or receptions in religious facilities that are otherwise open to the public. Accrediting organizations in some instances are asserting pressure on religious schools and universities to provide married housing for same-sex couples. Student religious organizations are being told by some universities that they may lose their campus recognition and benefits if they exclude same-sex couples from club membership.
Many of these examples have already become the legal reality in several nations of the European Union, and the European Parliament has recommended that laws guaranteeing and protecting the rights of same-sex couples be made uniform across the EU. Thus, if same-sex marriage becomes a recognized civil right, there will be substantial conflicts with religious freedom. And in some important areas, religious freedom may be diminished.

How Would Same-Sex Marriage Affect Society?
Possible restrictions on religious freedom are not the only societal implications of legalizing same-sex marriage. Perhaps the most common argument that proponents of same-sex marriage make is that it is essentially harmless and will not affect the institution of traditional heterosexual marriage in any way. “It won’t affect you, so why should you care?’ is the common refrain. While it may be true that allowing single-sex unions will not immediately and directly affect all existing marriages, the real question is how it will affect society as a whole over time, including the rising generation and future generations. The experience of the few European countries that already have legalized same-sex marriage suggests that any dilution of the traditional definition of marriage will further erode the already weakened stability of marriages and family generally. Adopting same-sex marriage compromises the traditional concept of marriage, with harmful consequences for society.

Aside from the very serious consequence of undermining and diluting the sacred nature of marriage between a man and a woman, there are many practical implications in the sphere of public policy that will be of deep concern to parents and society as a whole. These are critical to understanding the seriousness of the overall issue of same-sex marriage.

When a man and a woman marry with the intention of forming a new family, their success in that endeavor depends on their willingness to renounce the single-minded pursuit of self-fulfillment and to sacrifice their time and means to the nurturing and rearing of their children.

Marriage is fundamentally an unselfish act: legally protected because only a male and female together can create new life, and because the rearing of children requires a life-long commitment, which marriage is intended to provide. Societal recognition of same-sex marriage cannot be justified simply on the grounds that it provides self-fulfillment to its partners, for it is not the purpose of government to provide legal protection to every possible way in which individuals may pursue fulfillment. By definition, all same-sex unions are infertile, and two individuals of the same gender, whatever their affections, can never form a marriage devoted to raising their own mutual offspring.

It is true that some same-sex couples will obtain guardianship over children –through prior heterosexual relationships, through adoption in the states where this is permitted, or by artificial insemination. Despite that, the all-important question of public policy must be: what environment is best for the child and for the rising generation? Traditional marriage provides a solid and well-established social identity to children. It increases the likelihood that they will be able to form a clear gender identity, with sexuality closely linked to both love and procreation. By contrast, the legalization of same-sex marriage likely will erode the social identity, gender development, and moral character of children. Is it really wise for society to pursue such a radical experiment without taking into account its long-term consequences for children?
As just one example of how children will be adversely affected, the establishment of same-sex marriage as a civil right will inevitably require mandatory changes in school curricula. When the state says that same-sex unions are equivalent to heterosexual marriages, the curriculum of public schools will have to support this claim. Beginning with elementary school, children will be taught that marriage can be defined as a relation between any two adults and that consensual sexual relations are morally neutral. Classroom instruction on sex education in secondary schools can be expected to equate homosexual intimacy with heterosexual relations. These developments will create serious clashes between the agenda of the secular school system and the right of parents to teach their children traditional standards of morality.

Finally, throughout history the family has served as an essential bulwark of individual liberty. The walls of a home provide a defense against detrimental social influences and the sometimes overreaching powers of government. In the absence of abuse or neglect, government does not have the right to intervene in the rearing and moral education of children in the home. Strong families are thus vital for political freedom. But when governments presume to redefine the nature of marriage, issuing regulations to ensure public acceptance of non-traditional unions, they have moved a step closer to intervening in the sacred sphere of domestic life. The consequences of crossing this line are many and unpredictable, but likely would include an increase in the power and reach of the state toward whatever ends it seeks to pursue.

The Sanctity of Marriage
Strong, stable families, headed by a father and mother, are the anchor of civilized society. When marriage is undermined by gender confusion and by distortions of its God-given meaning, the rising generation of children and youth will find it increasingly difficult to develop their natural identity as a man or a woman. Some will find it more difficult to engage in wholesome courtships, form stable marriages, and raise yet another generation imbued with moral strength and purpose.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has chosen to become involved, along with many other churches, organizations, and individuals, in defending the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman because it is a compelling moral issue of profound importance to our religion and to the future of our society.

The final line in the Proclamation on the Family is an admonition to the world from the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.” This is the course charted by Church leaders, and it is the only course of safety for the Church and for the nation.

is romance dead?

There've been a few things happening lately that are bringing many thoughts to my mind...i know that nobody likes to just read about somebody's ramblings, but this is weighing on my mind and the whole reason I got this blog was so I would have a place to dump this stuff...so here goes:

When we first meet someone and begin to date, we feel that rush and adrenalin that is associated with infatuation. If that feeling stays and grows, it translates into the realm of romantic love, also called "being in love". Somewhere beyond that, in the mundane repetition of laundry, work, chores, child raising, paying bills, spaghetti instead of steak and Wal-mart instead of Nordstrom(if you live in the NW...otherwise, think Macy's on steriods), is where love grows. It is a deep and binding attachment that holds people together when nothing else will. Sometimes, to be honest, the legal bond is what holds people to each other while the love that they have can be dug out of the hole it's in and is revived a bit. There seems to be, in the minds of many people, the idea that if they aren't feeling that intense physical attraction that comes with infatuation and such, then they aren't "in love" anymore with the person and the relationship is over. Then they divorce and move on into another round of the same game, etc etc etc. What a shame. What they cheat themselves out of! Love, the real thing, requires tears and sweat and sacrifice, hard work to love someone when they are being incredibly unlovable(which we all are at times, be honest), making due with less than you really feel that you need so that someone else can have what they want, putting out 150% because your spouse's best at that time and place is only about 50%...do people know this anymore? It isn't easy! Think about the traditional wedding vows...it covers ill health(think about all that entails...), poverty, wealth(yes, humility is terrible hard work to keep), sadness(think it's easy to continue on in a well way when your heart is ripped to shreds over a wayward child, or full of grieving?), sunshine and rain. They cover fidelity and the need for it(trust, faith, hope). Do people make these vows without thinking? I have to wonder...

I know that in my experience there have been many many times when I would have just chucked it all and booked off if it weren't for those vows and the fact that I don't want to fail at marriage. I try to not take my spouse for granted, although it does happen...how could it not? Also part of a marriage is the work of forgiveness for all of those slights when there is so much work to do that there doesn't seem to be time or energy to acknowledge efforts. But lest anyone use that as an excuse, we do need to make every effort to appreciate each other.

So those are my thoughts at the moment. I wish that more people understood that. Marriage has only recently been about "love". Love is something that grows with time and is bonded through all of those things above. THAT is what love is. That is what marriage creates and gives to us, if we follow the counsel given and work honestly at it.

Check out this cool blog!

Alright, so he's my nephew-in-law(almost said son-in-law 'cause his wife is so dear to me, but let's get the relationship right here!), and I think he's brilliant, but let's be honest...James IS brilliant. Here's a link to his blog, which is NOT about himself, but is a collection of news/commentaries regarding movies and such in the industry. What you will also find, however, is a glimpse into who James is, which is important because I think he's going to be heard of in many areas in his lifetime.
So check it out!

http://oneguysmovieblog.blogspot.com/

Enjoy! And let me know what you think!

TEXAS RANCH HOUSE

I love this series on PBS. Not just Texas Ranch House, but all of the "house" projects. Here's some info from Texas, however. Check it out!
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/ranchhouse/

an excerpt:

Robin Gilliam Crawford is the curator of the National Ranching Heritage Center in Lubbock, Texas
Read diary excerpts of frontier wife Susan Newcomb
Up to the time of America's Civil War (1861-1865), ranching done by Anglo Texans was more commonly called stock raising. The ranch, a term borrowed from the Spanish "rancho," was then known as a stock farm. In the postwar years, both family businesses and international cattle companies expanded across the West, involving greater numbers of people, including the women. In most cases, the family ranch was worked by the men: father, brothers, uncles, and cousins. Young men from around the area were hired to help out -- if the family could afford to pay wages. Otherwise, the men from neighboring ranches gathered cattle as a group, herding several families' animals to a central location for branding and sorting. But what were the wives and daughters doing? Lots of food preparation, including tending the gardens, picking fruit or vegetables, canning or drying various foods, gathering eggs and plucking the occasional chicken, cooking hearty meals, and baking lots of bread. Then they had to bring in more water from the well; wash all the plates, cups, mixing bowls, baking pans, and utensils; and begin preparing the next meal. If the wife had a better head for numbers than her husband, she might keep the records of stock increases, cattle or horse sales, supplies bought, and so on. She usually made up the orders for bulk goods such as flour, sugar, beans, and coffee to be bought when a couple of cowboys could be spared for a week or so to take a wagon into town. It was a potentially dangerous undertaking, since Indian attacks were still a real possibility into the 1870s. Sometimes this job would fall to the ladies when the ranch hands could not make the trip. Life on a remote ranch was a matter of self-sufficiency, so the ladies usually made their own and the children's clothes and some of the men's things. Thankfully, sewing machines became more common after the Civil War. Only a few women continued to spin and weave cotton or wool as they had during the war. They did the family laundry (though hired cowboys usually had to wash and mend their own things), and all of the required ironing. While few outsiders would ever see them, the ladies tried to maintain a semblance of propriety in the way they dressed, and to keep the house clean and attractive. Women who actually assisted with the cow works were a minority, and one or two frontier Amazons might even ride astride like a man, wearing trousers! This was the extreme, and such women would be "talked about" as socially suspect. More often, ranch wives and daughters rode sidesaddle, and if they had to ride a man's saddle they did it in very full skirts. Divided riding skirts did not appear until the end of the 19th century. Page 1 Page 2

hmmm...

So, can you believe it? The one I called COURAGE quit. Crazy stuff. Just shows that you can't ever tell.
I still like critters best.
This is a fabulous show, I wish I could post it and share it with everyone. I enjoy this theatre stuff so much, it's great. We will be moving to Kirkland Performance Center in a few weeks, and that is even better. Backstage is awful, but the rest of the theatre reminds me so much of the old place where I played as a kid while my mom did costuming and stuff.

Anyway, onward.

Inlaws leave soon, next week. My sis is going through big, sad changes right now, Shauna is happy and doing well...it was funny, last weekend Em and I went down to Shauna's place and took her to IKEA to shop and then put together new furniture. I went from being the daughter with the mom visiting, to the mom visiting the daughter. I wonder if it was wierd for Shauna to have her mom sleeping on the couch? Too funny. Life just rolls along and we all get to take our turns at being in different places. Then I took Em school shopping and spent a bit more than I had planned on, but it's done and that's good!

Friends are hurting now also...why does change so often cause pain? Change can be so good for us, some not so great, but why does it have to hurt? Sometimes I get tired of being stretched and molded and just want to be left alone for a bit.

On the other side, Summer is fabulous. I am enjoying the sun and the time off and the opportunity to get caught up on stuff and finish other things up. The plants I put into the new house here are taking root and moving along, the garden in pots is growing and if all goes well we should have tomatoes, peppers, spinach, cukes, squash, cabbage, peas, green beans, and herbs. YUMMY!

Found a great quote at Red Robin over the weekend...

"Gather up as many good experiences as possible, they will help make you an interesting old person."

Hey there
It's been so long since I updated my page. I feel like I really let something slip 'cause this is a good barometer for me to check in and see how I'm doing and really feeling about stuff. Yeah, it really is just all about me, so that's your cue to cut and run if you want! :D

Pres. Hinckley's passing tossed me for a loop. Things were so tough for me with this doggone move and trying to stay in the groove with Em's school stuff, planning Shauna and Shawn's wedding, struggling to get the costuming for Beauty and Beast off the floor and into the air, and then finding out that my inlaws were coming back...oh golly. It's no wonder that the shingles were quickly followed by a fairly lengthy fight with whooping cough. Omigosh. What a hideous illness. It's not just coughing, it just feels like you're dying. Can't breathe, can't talk, can't sing, can't eat, can't sleep...but that's out of the way now, BATB opened this weekend and everyone is basically clothed, inlaws are only here for another month, it's summer break and this place is starting to feel like home. Oh yeah, and my gorgeous daughter and her fabulous husband are happy and healthy and I find so much joy in them, both as individuals and as a couple.

Masoud and I are at times alright and at times in seperate dimensions. He drifts in and out and here and there, so it's hard to stay together. Oh well.

Emma is great, enjoying her summer and loving the whole performing thing. She is already planning on her audition for next year's show, which is The Music Man. Fun little intense bug that she is. What a crack up.

Meeting some really great people through the show this year, and love reconnecting with the others. Most of them I was able to stay pretty connected to throughout the few months we were away, which is always good for me. When I invest time and energy into people I have a sad time of letting them go. The winter was tough enough, so I was spared this year, for the most part. The leads this year are amazing and super talented, but also super personable and enjoyable just as they are, or as they are to me. We have the genius boy-wonder playing The Beast(Brian Earp), gracious, intelligent and genuine. The beautiful and melodius Belle, Elise Campello( a real firecracker, don't let her dimunitive size fool you!), Logan Benedict as the ego-maniacal Gaston, focused, talented and funny as all get out, Carol Swarbrick, who is our Mrs Potts...in my self I call her "courage". I will miss her intensely when this show is put to bed. Charlene Niemeyer as Babette...can't typecast this beautiful lady at all. She plays the hot tot duster, but in her life she is a pastor's wife and a mother and so kind and gracious. Bob Nydegger as our Maurice, a little more rambunctious this year, but still Bob. Kevin Cobley as Cogsworth...I just love him. He's super fantabulous, and yes, that IS a word. Cheryl Phillips is Wardrobe and while I was worried at first, she is a sweet thing. I have to admit to being scared of people for the most part, especially when I first meet them. Always a puppy, I want to wag and be happy, but that sometimes backfires. Then there is Mo Brady. We've always got a little torch and this year that's Mo. He plays Lumiere. He's funny and sometimes a little sad it seems, but jolly good fun. Lots of young people in this show, bright and lovely people. I am constantly in awe of the talent that they have and their willingness to share it with others. There is little jealousy or envy that is exhibited...I think that the youngest ones have the hardest time, especially this year as there isn't a lot of stretch room for them in this show. Ah well.

This coming school year, jumping subjects now, I am going to be spending time on the PAC for Homelink. That's the Parent Advisory Committee. I really didn't want to do any committee stuff for awhile, it's so much less interesting as actually DOING something, but we love Homelink and all that it has given to our family, and it seems like the appropriate and right thing to do, for me to serve and give back in this way. Em will be in middle school, if I can ever believe that. WOW.

So it's good to be back on, and I'll be posting more often again. I have some great things about the history of this new area where we live and stuff about things I've pursued in the past few months(such as The WASPs in WWII, creative writing again, putting together lesson plans for a middle school aimed class dealing with life at the turn of the 1900's...just 'cause it seemed like fun to do...)

love to all
teri