sometimes i wonder...

Well, always I wonder...but first of all, it's been a day.
Not really a bad day, although it sure could have gone that way. Woo boy, could it have!
I wanted to say things and do things and be places and all sorts of "things" that are completely unacceptable for my life at this point in time.
Always my issue.
Timing just sucks, almost every moment of the day. So I suck it up and work on other junk and just "grrrrrr" inside. C'mon, you totally know what that's like. Quit faking. Sheesh. ;)

So, I put the headphones in as soon as I got up and then kept them there until I had to do my hair and makeup for work. They went back in on my way out the door after and music has been going since.
It's helped.
Can't imagine how it would have been without it.
Dang
I don't like feeling overwhelmed by emotions. I LIKE emotions, don't get me wrong, but not when they dominate.
Work...training at my new temp job, receptionist at a tax prep spot. I was pretty intimidated going in. They use a site specific program for all of their office computer work and it's been a few years since I've worked a multi-line phone system, plus they are all a tight group that's been together for awhile and I'm the new kid coming in. Anyway, the program is easy, the phone is a non-issue and the people are like any other group of people. I'm eager to really get into it.

Tomorrow I am doing my first half marathon. 13 miles, 3.5 hour time limit. I'd say, no problem, but I drove the route tonight and it's going to be tricky. Along busy roads with no shoulder, walking on the grassy edging of the ditch. Really? And then along a major Hwy with the same conditions. That's got me just concerned about the time, but if I don't finish in the time left I'm not worried. It's not like i disintegrate. And snow was forecast for our area, finally, for tomorrow afternoon, but it's falling up north now. :) I'm happy, but i don't want to walk in the snow. Anyway, by tomorrow night I won't be able to say i haven't done that.

Friends melting down.

Can't put words to what I'm feeling. It's in there too tight, won't be labeled yet.

What do you do when you have a situation that you've waited for and then it's in front of you, with a couple major glitches? Yeah, I know. Not the situation then. That's what my rational self just keeps saying. The rest of me is listening, it'll get there.

I just don't want to get there. But I have to.

Darn it.

Well, I'll just focus on work and somehow let it go.

Meanwhile...I wonder...if the fact that I wonder means anything.

And on that note, have a good night. Toss a thought to the positive energies in the wherever and put my name on one please. Thanks!