And so...(interesting, this morning, that this is out of order...)

This was early in the evening. 

This...brought on the rest. 

I am very much not ok.

How many times...

Oh, this will all sound so wrong. It's all pure emotion.

Raw. Pained.

Oh my God.

I am tired of being brave.
I am tired of being ok.

I am not ok.

Why?
Why why why why why why why?????

Why must I always swallow my pain?
Why must I always...

No. I'm not ok.

I very much need to not be alone right now.

And I am absolutely alone.