Simply Living A Life: Working on that personal memo entry...and stuff

Well. Nuts.
I'm fighting off a cold. Mega doses of vitamin C, acai juice, blueberries, green tea. Not going down with this, no way. I hate being sick, I'm a terrible patient for myself. Just let me hide in a cave, firewalk, drink dragon's blood, whatever it's going to take. ;) Seriously, though. I'm not going to be sick. Nope.

And exercise. As long as it isn't strep, I try to blow the stuff out of me. It's just my own course of remedy for my own self. It works, for me.

I've been a part of a facebook group this year, 1000 miles in 2013. I lost ground in the summer with work, had planned several long hikes and climbs, but it just didn't happen. And that's okay. I enjoyed work.
Rabbit trail...
It's interesting, how we become accustomed and acclimated to situations. I noticed that a few posts from almost 2 years ago, during my first season at H&R, were clicked on, so I went in and read them. Oh, that sad night. I remember that one so well. I didn't check email for months after that, and when I did go back in (and had 4000 emails to weed through, bad idea) I found an apology. We'd already cleared things by that time, and I'm so glad that I didn't ever respond. It didn't need it, it didn't need my howling pain in response. That's just how I do things anymore. If it won't go away, I'll approach things in a calm and as objective a manner as possible, with all those wise tools that keep doors open and communication possible...no NEVERs, no ALWAYSs, no YOU DO, or YOU DON'T...
Anyway. That was a hard one to revisit.
What made me giggle a little is how terrified I was about that job. I went into the office a few nights ago to check out the new layout, complain about the fact that they will have us sitting down...they think...no way...and it's all just 2nd nature. Played with the new phone lines a little, said hello to my headset, checked the filing cabinets and new releases. If we're still in the area, I can't wait. First of January, back in. I look forward to the crush and rush, the opportunity to tame the chaos, or at very least ride it. The farm job was much the same, a little trepidation but before any of us knew it we were sporting big guns from major lifting, handling issues from several directions at once, making decisions and taking the bullets willingly if we gambled incorrectly.
Yeah, the house still suffered a bit. Yeah, daughter could've used me home a bit more. Yeah, in many respects the situation is so much easier with their father helping more to cover her needs financially. But overall, I made decisions regarding some stuff and made life more of everything for us. I remember that helpless and exhausted state, and I definitely did hit that a few times this summer, but overall...I may whimper about it here, but in the light of day and situation, I walk straight at it. I rarely flinch in life anymore. Only where my heart is involved. And there, I'm learning to open up, to be brave. There's no bravery in hiding.

Where was I? Oh yeah. The facebook group. I thought I'd lost all chance of even getting close, even with the pedometer, but being back in swing and doing the mileage math tonight, I find that I'm sitting at 862 ytd.
With only 36 days left in the year, it's not likely that I'll hit the 1k mark, but...if i can do my 5 mile easy loop at least 30 days, I just might. I don't go in for resolutions at New Year because for me that's just the wrong way to go about it all, but i was hoping to pull this one off.

I just finished a modified pilates torture session, solid weight workout, slugging the bag with arm weights and pumping the hand weights. I'd hate to lose the strength I gained at the farm, and I like the challenge...which makes it sound like i'm some buff tough whatever...but i'm not. It's not like that. The best part? The music. Like everything else, I get lost in it. I forget about the former relationship long over that just blew shit on me out of nowhere...seriously, I just don't get that. I forget about the upcoming holiday. I forget about the huge list of things I still need to get done(i'm getting there, i just can't do anymore tonight). I forget about many worries, my many silly things...feel my body move, focus on the motion, the beat, the flow, the burn, the beautiful ache, feeling muscles a little sore from a couple days ago and smile...yeah.

Early today was a Jeff Johnson, Loreena McKennit kind of day. A Harry Potter kind of day...and night, I've got the 6th movie in, always this time of year it's HP time. But earlier today was getting tires switched, harassing the high school again, running to the college, last shopping for Thanksgiving, setting other car care appts, making appt to get eyes checked (ugh...i'm thinking it's going to be big glasses time again), working on a project, cleaning...tonight has been kick back, research the things I remember for the religion post (i'd like to have it all come together in a concise way, and since it's been on my mind for awhile now i'm taking my time), work out, listen and move.

This playlist is emotional, in a different sense. Some is simply going for the power aspect, the pacing. Some of it is more than that. Some of it is just simply...because.

Got to keep some cards close. Just how it is.

So...Teri's workout playlist as it is right now. Most are not new to this blog, but you may as well experience my head noise tonight. I think it's wonderful.
In no particular order...

Depeche Mode

In Chains

Metric

Gold Guns GIrls

Eminem

Lose Yourself

Deadmau5

No idea which one. It's on my ipod as untitled and I can't find it on youtube, without going through every single entry, which I just don't want to do right now...

but Sophie Needs A Ladder always works, so I'm plugging it in.
(hang in there through the whole first minute...after that he gets it going)

Kevin Rudolf

Let It Rock

Perry Farrell

Go All The Way

Thomas Dolby

Quantum Mechanic

(this song was pulled off of youtube, each time it was uploaded, for years. From The Gate To The Mind's Eye, it's been a favorite for a long, long time)