Bean.

Bean the hedgehog went to his new home a couple of days ago.

We're moving in the next couple months, so it was necessary. Moves can be tough on animals in general, hedgehogs even more so.

I went away for a day or so the evening that Bean left, so when I returned home today, and I went to say hello to the critters, the space where his crate used to rest, for 2 yrs, was empty. And my heart hurts.

I miss him.

That's all. I'm here on the couch with the dogs, watching a chick flick, ignoring that normally I'd be listening to him crunch his food and run in his wheel. Except I'm not ignoring it well. I realized that when the tears rolled down my cheeks and I tried to breathe.

Why is change hard? When things hurt, I have to wonder why I do it. I know why, I only wish it wouldn't hurt. Or that there was someone who would simply understand that it hurts, that I only want to not sit all alone in my small grief...I don't expect or need anyone to fix it. Just to keep watch and not offer derision.

Ah well. Such is a dreamer's dream. And so, I still sit here, tears are still rolling down my face, silently...there are no sounds, no sobs, only tears and an ache inside. And the dogs lay close and still.

With that, I am content.