hahahaha! Too true...how men and women's brains work during a "discussion"... :)

You may disagree (feel free!), but I honestly have to say that I absolutely see the validity in this humorous look at what runs through the 2 gender's brains during a disagreement.

*giggle*

ENJOY!

http://urlybits.com/2010/03/how-a-mans-brain-works-during-an-argument/

Paralyzer ~

Finger Eleven...what a wierd name for a band.

Twilight ~

Disclaimer:
I am NOT a big Twilight fan. I enjoy some things about the books...I appreciate Meyer's take on the mythology of the wolves and the vampires. I like the theme of struggle and redemption, from the Cullen's perspective. They consider themselves damned creatures without souls and work to better mankind. And I appreciate the music to the extreme.
In particular, New Moon has meaning for me. For those not familiar with the story, Edward leaves Bella and she is utterly bereft. She felt so connected to him that she is left without purpose or desire to live. I'm not going into all the reasons for the seperation, just my reasons.
This movie came out right at the time that I knew my marriage was in serious trouble. I had just that week found so many dirty details of what was to come and I was numb with the shock and horror that I felt. When Edward leaves Bella and she falls into an almost catatonic state, I knew exactly where the character was. I was sitting in the same seat, not eating the same food, not sleeping, not thinking, not focusing ~
This is a brief scene that deals with the immediate aftermath of Edward's departure. The one thing missing that should still be in here are the screams that come from Bella each night when she loses the cold and numb control and her emotions overcome her. I know those screams. They speak from a pain so deep that they can't be touched during the day, during the conscious moments. They have been edited out of the scene.

The good part is, Bella slowly struggles back to life. She finds new things to live for, and although she isn't healed, she is moving again. For her, Edward returns to her life. For me, no. And even if it could have by some other way, by me it could not...my journey through took longer and came through so much hard work ~ but I'm stubborn and refuse to quit. Sometimes good, sometimes not, I find that this time it was good.

But it only takes a moment for me to be back in the midst of that time. Sometimes the scars never disappear and you remember with perfect clarity the events that gave them to you. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

Here is Lykke Li, Possibility is the song. Lyrics are below, as always. 

There's a Possibility,
There's a Possibility,
All that I had was all I'm gonn' get.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

There's a Possibility,
There's a Possibility,
All I'm gonna get is gone with your stare
All I'm gonna get is gone with your stare

So tell me when you hear my heart stop
You're the only one that knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There's a possibility I wouldn't know."

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Know that when you leave,
Know that when you leave,
By blood and by me, you walk like a thief,
By blood and by me, and I fall when you leave.

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You're the only one that knows.
Tell me when you hear my silence,
There's a possibility I wouldn't know.

So tell me when my sorrow's over,
You're the reason why I'm closed.
Tell me when you hear me falling,
There's a possibility it wouldn't show.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

By blood and by me, and I'll fall when you leave.
By blood and by me, I follow your lead.



Your half of the flesh and blood ~

Once upon a time, in a life lived by someone who may have once resembled me, this song was dedicated to a young woman by a man...this man told her many beautiful things, none of which were true. She wouldn't know for many years of his deception, and so she willingly and happily believed that the words of this beautiful song were truly meant by him, for her.

Regardless of all of that above, this really is a beautiful song, even after all these years. It has that timeless quality to it and I do list it as an all-time favorite of mine.  Lyrics are below ~

Baby, don't understand
Why we can't just hold on to each other's hands?
This time might be the last if fear unless
I make it all too clear I need you so, ohh

Take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Take these broken wings

Baby, I think tonight
We can take what was wrong and make it right
Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole, I need you so.

So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Yeah, yeah

Let us in
Let us in

Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in

Take these broken wings
You got to learn to fly, learn to live and love so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up for us and let us in
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh

Dance the night away ~

So many changes ~
It's been a crazy, stoopid busy few months. I'm not really sure where the past 3 months have gone, to be honest. School started for Emma, high school(whatever!)...job started at Oven Monkey bakery in town...worked the Haunted Swamp at Carleton Farms again (waaaay too fun, I love being at the farm). Music Man, which I did help in a very minimal way with ( i had committed to do it and i always follow through), happened. Other things popped up as lovely diversions to a lonely life, but they all appear to be fading away now. Music Man is over, Carleton is done, the diversion is diverted elsewhere, the weather sucks big time and it's hard to get out to walk and work off the frustration. I feel okay about it all, just not ready to stall again. I want to keep moving, to keep life rolling in a direction and I'm a little panicked that it's going to rest...no more resting. No more stalling. No more false starts, dammit. Get the freaking party running and don't let it slow down, thank you very much.
I'm ready for more.
Music and dance have become huge to me again. Love them. Have music running almost 24/7...can't stop myself from dancing when it's on and I just don't care. That's why there are so many music posts now ~ I'd say that at this point in the journey it's saving my life. Thank God for it! So, I hope that you enjoy the selections I put on here, get a move out of them, feel the emotion and power that is there...

Pick your body up and drop it on the floor ~

I’m loose
And everybody knows I get off the chain
Baby it’s the truth
I’m like inception I play with your brain
So I don’t sleep or snooze
I don’t play no games so don’t get it confused no
'cause you will lose yeah
Now pump it up
And back it up like a Tonka truck
Dale

If you go hard you gotta get on the floor
If you're a party freak then step on the floor
If your an animal then tear up the floor
Break a sweat on the floor
Yeah we work on the floor
Don’t stop keep it moving
Put your drinks up
Pick your body up and drop it on the floor
Let the rhythm change your world on the floor
You know we’re running shit tonight on the floor
Brazil, Morocco
London to Ibiza
Straight to L.A. New York
Vegas to Africa (Dale!)

Dance the night away
Live your life and stay out on the floor
Dance the night away
Grab somebody, drink a little more
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala-a
Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala-a
Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor


I know you got it clap your hands on the floor
And keep on rockin’, rock it up on the floor
If you’re a criminal kill it on the floor
Steal it quick on the floor, on the floor
Don’t stop keep it moving
Put your drinks up
Its getting ill
It's getting sick on the floor
We never quit, we never rest on the floor
If I ain’t wrong we’ll probably die on the floor
Brazil, Morocco
London to Ibiza
Straight to LA, New York
Vegas to Africa


Dance the night away
Live your life and stay out on the floor
Dance the night away
Grab somebody, drink a little more
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala-a
Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala-a
Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor

[Pibull]
That badonka donk is like a trunk full of bass on an old school Chevy
Seven tray donkey donk
All I need is some vodka some … and coke
And watch people get donkey konged
Baby if you’re ready for things to get heavy
I get on the floor and act a fool if you let me
Don’t believe me just bet me
My name ain’t Keath but I see why you Sweat me
L.A. Miami New York
Say no more get on the floor
Get on the floor

Moves Like Jagger ~ BOOM baby (explicit edition)

Secret...beautiful song

Love Maroon 5

Secret, put to clips from the movie, "The Wedding Date"

Lyrics below clip

Watch the sunrise
Say your goodbyes
Off we go
Some conversation
No contemplation
Hit the road

Car overheats
Jump out of my seat
On the side of the highway baby
Our road is long
Your hold is strong
Please don't ever let go Oh No

[Chorus:]
I know I don't know you
But I want you so bad
Everyone has a secret
But can they keep it
Oh No they can't

I'm driving fast now
Don't think I know how to go slow
Where you at now
I feel around
There you are

Cool these engines
Calm these jets
I ask you how hot can it get
And as you wipe off beads of sweat
Slowly you say "I'm not there yet!"

[Chorus x2]

ummm...

Who even reads these things?

Have you ever had anything that you want to say, to talk about...and you can't? There isn't anybody to tell that you CAN tell? There isn't any place to say it and just have it out. You want to talk about it but you're just stuck?

WHY am I always in that position?

:/

So, here in some type of code, is what I want to say and can't:

es fu gy dk nc wk vm iu me kv nh xf yb lv zk nh uy mo wb fx jn wc ba nk vf rv jb hv uk uy pl vr ma xm lz db jh fv nh tl vf ku gp dg bf xh mh ud rd cv ah ma gy yl ko pj xk ko

If You Seek Amy...

Yeah...it makes sense...to me.

Not even going to go into that, lol~

Hate Myself...not really, lol

Midnight gettin' uptight Where are you

You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two
I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you
Hey Jack It's a fact they're talkin' in town

I turn my back and you're messin' around

I'm not really jealous don't like lookin' like a clown

I think of you ev'ry night and day

You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why

I hate myself for loving you





Daylight spent the night without you

But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do

I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through

Hey man betcha you can treat me right

You just don't know what you was missin' last night

I wanna see you beggin', say forget it just for spite


[ I think of you ev'ry night and day

You took my heart then you took my pride away



I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why

I hate myself for loving you

I think of you ev'ry night and day

You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why

I hate myself for loving you

I think of you ev'ry night and day

You took my heart then you took my pride away



I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why

I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself

For loving you




Til the World Ends

See the Sunlight

We Ain't Stoppin' Til the World Ends

And so it goes...away

I am heartbroken.
Another loss in my life, another lifeline severed.
I have to begin to wonder what I have done to be on the receiving end of these happenings. What crime against anyone have I committed that must demand these extreme payments? I have had security, companionship, my way of life, my dreams and expectations and now my one own passion taken from me...

 I just turned and walked away. To my car, and then drove away.
I feel so betrayed. Almost as much as when I realized that my husband of several years had been cheating. 
I know that seems extreme, but that's how it feels.
I just feel numb with the hurt and rejection.
So, I won't be reading those posts. I'll leave them here, though. I guess they can serve as a lesson that anything that you love can be taken, without thought or regard, in a second.
Beyond that, I have no lessons thought out yet.
I'm really not in the thinking stage at this point. I'm in the "go until I fall into sleep from sheer exhaustion so I don't have to think" and to just get going the moment I get out of bed to keep the same from happening. Thought can happen when the physical pain has diminished somewhat. The 2 together are too much to take right now.

Here's my song for this:

Except that I didn't leave the post as it was...just the parts that I want to remember.

If I don't forget these basic things then I won't be caught off guard again.

At least, that's the theory.

Not sure how many more hits like this I will be able to physically take.

Never mind the mental and emotional...honestly, that's been messed with so much that it's all sort of spongy and hasn't had any time to heal back up.

But the physical toll is pretty hard to handle

oh well.

guess i'll see!

This one's for you and me...