Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Rock of Ages

Not all of the songs are here...I only put the ones that I like. :)

First is one that always has meaning for me. I think it's quite likely that it has meaning for everyone and not just for one event in a life. That's the sign of a great song.

Enjoy ~

Poison
Every Rose Has It's Thorn



Bon Jovi
Wanted Dead or Alive



Whitesnake
Here I Go Again


Scorpions
No One Like You



Def Leppard
Rock Of Ages


Pat Benatar
Love Is A Battlefield



Def Leppard
Pour Some Sugar On Me



Juke Box Hero
Foreigner



Quiet Riot
Cum On Feel The Noize



Twisted Sister
I Wanna Rock


Guns N Roses 
Paradise City



Scorpions
Rock You Like A Hurricane


Friday, October 12, 2012

it's...

A beautiful day! Listing the good things in life!

Coffee(once I buy more)
Jobs
Roof over my head
Gorgeous autumn colors outside
Rain for the earth
FISH OIL (because it rains for the earth)
Awesome friends
Amazing family
Dependable car
Electricity
Heat
Smiles
Dogs
Cats
Hedgehogs
Acceptance that I can't control anybody else...
Blankets
Warm coats
Gloves
Shoes
MUSIC
Cameras
SNOW( when it gets here)
Ocean
Mountains
Speed
Dancing
Candles
Stars
Moon
Books
Knowledge
The love that I feel for people, whether or not they return it
Knowing that I don't have to fix everything
Knowing that I CAN'T fix everything
Learning that rejection isn't about me...that is a beautiful lesson
writing
knitting warm hats and scarves
my girls
my scars...they remind me that I have survived much and can survive more. That's pretty beautiful to me.
Belief in all things good. 
Gardens
Ambition

this will be added to. 


Have a wonderful day ~ Focus on all GOOD things. 


(The negative are there, we don't need to be so aware of them. They can live quite well without our help. Did I mention that I am grateful for FISH OIL? :) )



Thursday, October 11, 2012

Mumford and Sons, After the Storm.

Just such a beautiful song. Discovered after a former bfriend of younger daughter said it was his song for her. 

We saw them in concert last December and they absolutely ruled the stage. Fantastic!


O.M.G.

SERIOUSLY???

Somehow, this blog posted all of my drafts as finished products. Teach me, that will, to keep things in aside while they are being worked on...

I think I've pulled the majority back into draft form, but most have been viewed several times in the process. 
DOGGONE IT ALL.

I don't expect to have control over much...okay, really anything...

BUT I WASN'T READY FOR THOSE TO BE PUBLISHED.

No use crying over spilt milk. Ah well.

Moving on. As always.

Sagittarius Sun, Scorpio Rising - Edited and Complete

Okay. Right up front, I am going to say that I feel really exposed posting this. For all of the sharing I do, this one makes me nervous. But here it is, in all the good and bad. And even though I don't like all of it, I recognize it as pretty spot on. So, edited and all, here goes. 


Yikes ~
I am a Sagittarius Sun Sign
and the rising in Scorpio

...i may need to go jump off a cliff now...

0.0

Sagittarius Woman Sun Sign Profile -

The Sagittarius is most known for their light-hearted and friendly way. You can always tell that there is a Sag in the room because of their great sense of humor, they can make anyone laugh! Somehow, the Sagittarius always seems taller and larger than they are. They have great natural charisma. They are the type of people that are great with a crowd of people and know how to encourage people to get along. Physically the Sagittarius is most known for having a tremendous amount of energy and for having great teeth. But they can be just about any height or any type of other physical characteristics. You'll know that Sag because of their great energy level! 

A Sagittarius woman lacks tact and her flat, on-the-face statements may make you feeling like running away from her. Then, suddenly, she will say something so charming that you will feel as if you are on the seventh heaven. There, you go again! You will be trapped in her charm once more. Once you have been enamored by a Sagittarius girl, you will be staying with her for a long time. She is pleasant, friendly, outspoken and very talkative. Her forthrightness comes form the fact that she has no illusions about the world.

She sees it exactly as it is and says what she sees. At times, you may wish that she were not so honest. But then, she would be like any other girl, wouldn't she? In all probability, you will not like it. A Sagittarius female is very optimistic, but she is not irrational. She will judge the entire situation as per the facts, analyze its probable outcome and still believe that things will get better. Usually, she is very calm and composed. However, if you become rude to her or offend her, she may become like the fire-spitting dragon. 
 If you want to get something done from a Sagittarius female, just ask her; don't order. She will never ever do it. On the other hand, she doesn't want a sissy for a husband or boyfriend. He has to be a real man, who has his ego and won't stand for nonsense. So, you will be expected to balance politeness with firmness. 

I know it's difficult - but then, since when was winning someone easy. With a Sagittarius girl, you will never have to guess. She says what she thinks and how she acts shows what she feels. This bluntness may cost her heavily at times, even to the point of ending the relationship. Still, she would act as if she's not hurt at all and it is just one of the many harmless flirtations she's had. People will even believe all this, while inside she will be weeping and nursing her wounds. All this time, she will be analyzing what went wrong and when. 

Don't be fooled by them. Look deep inside a Sagittarius female and you will find a woman who is so enthusiastic about life and who trusts easily. In fact, this extreme belief makes her heart vulnerable and defenseless. It gets broken too often, but then, she knows how to move on with life. You will be tempted to care for her. It's natural. There are hardly any people who can resist the bright and charming disposition of a Sagittarius girl. She will not be too good with money and will most probably be on the extravagant side. 

She is very sentimental and emotional, though it seems otherwise. It just that, where her feelings are concerned, she becomes too shy. After marriage, your house will always remain sparkling clean, even if you don't have a maid to do that. She cannot stand sloppiness, it doesn't appeal to her sensibilities. She may not be too good at cooking, but she will also not burn your egg every day. A Sagittarian girl may pass the most sarcastic comments when she is angry, but she will forget the resentment soon enough. Then, she won't understand why are you so upset. 

As a mother, she will be very friendly with the kids. In fact, she will be more of a chum, than a mom. Only, you will have to teach them to take her bluntness with a pinch of salt. Apart from that, she will be wonderful and make them as independent as she is. She will be a lovely hostess to guests and make them feel at home. Just let her be what she is. Don't try to change her and don't curb her individuality. She will brighten your life with her optimism, boost you with loyalty, trust you blindly and shower her affection on you. She will encourage you to see dreams and help you in making them come true!


You want to be of service to the world. Your deepest satisfaction comes from knowing that you have advanced the cause of humanity.

Your ideals are of the highest order. You are a perfectionist. You strive to make the world a utopia; to make each person's lot in life better; to become perfect yourself. One of your challenges in life is to strive toward your lofty goals and at the same time recognize the good you are doing.

You like and are fascinated by people from all walks of life. Human nature is a lifelong study for you. You are highly intuitive, but not an especially good judge of character. You are a bit naive, as well, thinking perhaps that all people have the same values as you.

You dream of having the resources to immediately relieve the suffering of others, whether it is economic, physical, or psychological.

You are gifted with a good mind and a great deal of wisdom, which makes you a natural teacher, counselor, or healer.

You are attracted to the arts as a vocation, especially as an actor, photographer, or writer. But whatever your profession, any involvement in the arts, even as a hobby, will provide you with a deep and lasting satisfaction.

Your concern for others is genuine. You must apply yourself in this direction in order to become psychologically whole and personally satisfied. You need personal love as well, but have a tendency to put your needs in the background. Still, you are a loving person, and only need to be reminded to direct and demonstrate that love to those nearby. If, however, you are focused exclusively on the masses, people will perceive you as distant and a bit aloof.

You are emotional, and sensitive. You can also be moody and critical. You have high expectations for yourself and others. This can cause you much anger when your expectations are unfulfilled. One of your most important life lessons is to forgive.

Your happiness and contentment are therefore highly dependent on the ease with which you are able to serve and influence mankind.

It is the paradox of your Heart's Desire that you receive by giving. Both your material success and spiritual satisfaction are made possible through service and sacrifice to others.


 The Sagittarius is really a centaur -- the lower half is horse, the upper half is a man. The man is holding a bow with an arrow aimed upwards toward the sky. This symbolizes the Sagittarius' drive to overcome basic animal instincts by aiming his thoughts into the divine realms of the heavens. In other words, Sagittarius is hunting for ideas and experiences that draw you into greater awareness. As such, Sagittarius tend to love adventure, travel and philosophy -- all ways of extending beyond your immediate surroundings. 

Sagittarius tend to aim their arrows of thought upward, being the incurable optimists of the zodiac. Sagittarius often look at the sunny side of life and the silver lining to any dark cloud. Sagittarius are honest to a fault, for you can say what's on your mind before you realize that someone's feelings might be hurt. Since the Sagittarius is part horse, there is also a connection between Sagittarius and horses, be it a love of riding or an emphasis on the most powerful part of a horse: its legs and thighs. In fact, many of Sagittarius love outdoor hiking and long distance running. 

The Sagittarius motto is "It is better to know how to learn than to know." You seek knowledge and wisdom, never tiring of the quest for what is yet to come. Others enjoy being with you when you are in your outgoing and joyful mood, but you can become more sullen if you feel that your wings have been clipped. Even in a restrictive situation, however, you'll not lose hope--and it is this inspirational perspective that leads you to your greatest success

Fire signs are naturally warm. A fire gives light and heat, but it doesn't get depleted as others feed on its warmth. One candle can bring light to a room and it won't burn any faster if ten people read from its light than if there was only one. Fire doesn't plan its next move; it isn't logical. It simply is in the moment and will burn what fuel is available without judgment or forethought. For this reason fire signs can successfully rely on their intuition and survival instincts. 

The fire of Sagittarius is warming, not hot -- but that's because it's far away. It's like a light in the distance that reminds us why we are heading in that direction or the stars that have been used for navigation. This is the fire of inspiration whose heat can motivate the mind to reach out into the wilderness. 

Sagittarius Greatest Strength: Your undying optimistic attitude 

Sagittarius Possible Weakness: Glossing over problems or avoiding difficult situations




The Disposition of Scorpio Rising - Woman


When you have Scorpio rising, you are driven, formidable, active and strong.
The foundation of your individuality is might and charm.
You are very charming and you can get almost anyone to do what you want, it's hard to tell you no.

You’re a prolific thinker and you seem to have an unlimited reservoir of hints and solutions.

You are ingenious, original, and imaginative.

Someone may look at you and see a calm and collected expression, but underneath that, your thoughts are going a million miles a minute.

You need to figure out the mechanics of things, you analyze, break it down and then you construct it again and it is better.

You are a restrained person and very private.

You are content in being the power behind the throne.

In an aesthetic sense, you have real foresight; your style can set trends.

You like to work alone; you don't like people looking over your shoulder, it makes you nervous and it never turns out right.

You are probably thought of as easy to talk to, but if the person really pays attention they would see that you don't say much, they are doing virtually all of the talking.

You're a quietly observant person, keeping an eye on everything. You file all the things you hear and see to use it in the future.

You emit a warm sexual vibe as well as an effusive vibe.

You typically have a piercing stare - as if you can see through everything. You are also capable fading into the background but you still send out those strong vibes.

Here's an example:
You could be sitting in the back of the room and you see someone who has taken your interest. You begin to watch them and you do this for quite a long time.
Eventually they will feel you watching and when they turn to you, they are hit by your eyes. It’s very disconcerting.

This sign is the sign of intimacy, it's the reason you have such a strong
 intuition, it's why people feel so close to you so fast.

You should also use that perfect intuition to guide you through your relationships.

With this rising sign, you may have a secret romance at least once in your lifetime.

You are able to pull in energy from your partner in a positive way. .

MY LIPS ARE SEALED 


Let's say someone has told you a secret, a real dark and dirty one; it's an old bone in his or her closet.

If they were to look at your face, they would never know that you have heard this same secret from someone else. You will never tell. You will just give an understanding nod and they will know that your lips are forever sealed.

I would guess that from the daytime right up to when the sunlight gives way to night, you like to wear dark glasses. This is because you have a strong Scorpio in your chart.

Scorpio's cover their eyes and the cause is the secrets they keep, theirs and everyone else's.

If you are acquaintances with someone or they just met you, it wouldn't be surprising that you keep your sunglasses on when they are talking to you, even when it would be rude not to take them off.

There maybe reasons for that, you are hearing or talking about something sensitive that screams of "closed book" or you don't exactly trust this person yet, not enough anyways for them to see into your soul.

Most of a Scorpio person's life is held close to the vest, therefore, Scorpios are very discerning in whom they trust.

You like privacy and that includes yours and everyone else’s. You like all that having a secret entails. 

If anyone has you amongst their friends and they have a secret, you are the one they should tell.

You like secrets, but you hate dishing the dirt. You believe that it is better to keep the secret than to pass it on.

The things you keep secret from others is your self-doubts and your sad feelings, it's probably why you don't feel close to anyone.

It's a double-edged sword because you don't tell other peoples secrets and you don't tell yours either.

Whom do you depend on to tell your troubles? Try to find someone you can slowly tell your secrets to, you shouldn’t carry them around on your own.

SEX

You have probably had forbidden experiences that lasted just one night for several nights or have become part of your sexual preferences (in the closet or out). At the very least, you have a taste for light kinky sex.

Scorpio rising people need to have regular release of their sexual energy; relationships with not enough sex do not work for you. 

You have a real connection to your sexual self; it makes it easy for you to plug into what other people need and want sexually.

You seem to have a sixth sense about their unfulfilled fantasies and of what they have hidden in their sexual closet.

PHOENIX RISING 
In your lifetime, you will have issues surrounding death. You will go through the death of things or people you hold dear and you will have to rise from the ashes and renew yourself.

Every time you go through a hurtful and depressing period, you will change your life. Just as the phoenix rises, Scorpio rising forces you to change and become a new you. 

With Scorpio rising, you are capable of surviving things that other people end up being medicated for. You are strong in the face of destruction even if you think you're not.

You are a survivor yes, but there's no need for you to self-destruct or sabotage your life. In your case, what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

As you grow and get older, you may come to have an admiration for the enduring spirit you have.

YOUR MOTTO: With Passion

As a Scorpio rising, you live the word passion. You have a passionate calling, you have passionate sexual desires or passionate professional desires.

Whatever it is that you’re after, you put everything you have into it, and you focus on achieving it. You go all the way, no half-assed attempts for you. You know that you have to be devoted to a goal, or you will not succeed.


With this characteristic, Scorpio rising people wind up doing awe-inspiring things with their lives.


SCORPIO RISING PERSONA

A note about appearance: these features aren't strict rules; any First House Planets or Mars’ arrangement affects your physical features.

In the looks department Scorpio risings are inclined to have dark and dense eyebrows, a large nose and mesmerizing eyes.

You also have a body that moves in an active and determined manner.




SCORPIO RISING: PLANETS AND OTHER ZODIAC SIGNS THAT MATTER 

Pluto governs Scorpio and it's very important in your chart.

Pluto imparts profound feelings, a strong spirit, resolve, determination, tenacity, vision, and the power to begin something new as a winner. Pluto also promotes possessiveness, mistrust, ruthlessness and privacy.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Great dance song! :)

That says it all. :) Love this one. 



Enjoy!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Iridescent ~ *EDITS*

*EDITS*
I am very grateful to be finding my footing again. After taking so many hard hits early in September, and having found myself tossed and unbalanced by them (much to my displeasure and arrogance in my belief of my ability to be unflappable...i have to own this fault in myself, as much as I also dislike seeing it), I am feeling more myself again. There are fewer tears, more energy, clearer vision, and joy is peeking through the very black clouds that landed on me so suddenly. No arrogance this time, I am aware of my optimistic fragility. 

Life is using a large amount of courage at various times these days.

I wonder sometimes how I can be such a pessimist, and yet so insanely optimistic. It has never made sense to me, if I stop and think about it. I don't often, though. I've always been like this...for as long as I can remember at any rate, so that's as good as always. :) There is this huge cynical streak in me that can get me down, sometimes quite low. Yet at the same time is the crazy belief that everything will be fine, sun coming out tomorrow and all that jazz. Equal parts of me buy both sides whole heartedly. It drives me a bit blighty at times. Like now.

There really isn't anything to do about it. I have long accepted that I can't silence either voice in me...that acceptance has come from many years fighting to allow one to have dominance over the other. There comes a time when through the noise you stop caring which one wins, just as long as one of them does. It ends up falling into the same space as the hyper organized and detail/task oriented person vs the creative and free form, abstract embracing boxless self in me. 

What I have learned is that it is best to allow them to temper each other. If they must exist together, then they may as well be friends...right? And in most cases, when I am balanced, they encourage and enable the other to exist quite well. 

But the optimism and the cynic are having a very tough time right now. Given the hits that happened, the cynic has every reason to take the stronger stand. The problem lies in that the cynic, given free rein, makes me ill, physically and spiritually ill. In my heart I am an optimist. I believe in all the good things in life and the universe. I've just gotten a bit worn down, feeling a little discouraged...something that I don't like in myself. But I know that everything WILL be good again and this transitional thing will be awesome. 



Iridescent
Linkin Park
(for me, this song is a great one. To me, it's full of hope and acceptance and not holding on to anything negative but embracing the good. I know that other people may take it differently, but this is what it means to me.)





When you were standing in the wake of devastation
When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
And with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now
You were there impossibly alone.

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up hope but failure's all you've known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go, let it go.

And in the burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of temper grace falling into empty space
No one there to catch you in their arms

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up hope but failure's all you've known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go, let it go.

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up hope but failure's all you've known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go,

Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up hope but failure's all you've known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go, let it go.


...and move on...
It's always a new day, a new moment. A new step to take, over and over. If a day is too much to contemplate the success of, then take that moment. 




Monday, October 1, 2012

planning the next tattoos

When I began to consider the possibility of getting a tattoo at all, I knew that I would have to let it come to me. In trying to think of what it might be, I found myself far too fickle in all of the ideas. And so, I waited. For years.

When I began to heal and find myself again, it hit me one day that my ultimate and final tattoo will be a phoenix. Rising from the ashes to a new and stronger life, wisdom grown on the back of the previous existence. It made perfect sense and rang true. I knew that I would never regret it. 

The issue became the design. What I wanted was going to be so detailed that it would end up covering most of a section of my back and if it was to be that large then i wanted it to wrap around my rib cage. But to be honest, I didn't want anything that large. The smaller versions were too simplistic and I have been searching for a very long time to find the right image.

I found it. Finally. 

Another planned tattoo has always been a celtic knot. The knot's representation varies but to me it symbolizes the eternal nature of life and the spirit. I have been searching for a knot that would strike that note of truth in me and so it's been on hold as well. 

I found it also. 

I found them together. The knot isn't a true knot, but it works for me. It's an amazing design to me and it's what I will have done. I have a yin/yang with wolf tracks on my right outside calf, and this will go on my left. Incorporated in will be the initials of my daughters, always a part of my spirit and myself, forever without end. Posting the picture that I found...tried to crop it to cut out the belly, no luck. So just look beyond that. :)


It's perfect, for me. Exactly right. I can't wait now. 

The tattoo that I got first is pictured below. The yin/yang symbolizes balance and harmony in all things in life, there is light and dark in everything, and in everyone. Without one the other cannot exist, it is how life and existence is. And it's all good. The wolf tracks inside are based on the following legend:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

The angle is off, the tattoo is actually square on my leg, but I couldn't get my hand to bend quite right. It doesn't show much in the picture, but there is a scar to the back of the tattoo on my leg. It is, ironically, from a dog bite. 


The last tattoo will be the the McCallum clan motto: In Ardua Tendit..."He has attempted difficult things".
That will be on the inside of my left wrist. 


Glad to have found that piece that was missing. :)