safe and sound

I can't help but compare their sound to a mix of Passion Pit, MGMT, and Young The Giant. But it's a few key phrases that have it earning a spot here tonight. 

Capital Cities

Safe and Sound

no words

Bullying. 

At best it's a high annoyance and just simply completely stupid. 

At it's worst it causes it's victims to contemplate suicide, either because they buy into the abuse or they can't get away from it, they feel, in any other way.

The last scenario is what puts me in a car in a few short hours, in horrid weather conditions at an iffy time of year, to drive my younger 3 states away to stay with family and to heal. To get out of this fucked up, seriously addicted town. 

So much more, so many threads, stories, details. 

All I can really think of at the moment is that I'm grateful that we have loving, stable family willing to jump in and help us out. Without a blink they agreed. 

That helps...I can't even look at how hard this is for me to do.

Lawyers have been consulted, police talked to, warnings given out. 

It's been bad. Beyond bad. It's been close to the worst cases you've heard of. 

And there's this:

I'm beyond exhausted. 

I'm worried, for the first time in a long time, about whether or not I have the physical capacity to make this run. I have to get us there in a day, rest up, turn around and get home...leaving her there. We've only ever been apart for a couple of days a few years ago when she went to a summer camp. She's 16. Just to put it in perspective.

It's fine, she's excited. I don't blame her. I would be also.

But for myself? 

I already miss her.

I need to get sleep now.

I think i need a devil to help me get things right...learning to fly.

Foo Fighters

Learn To Fly

Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me get things right

Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die

I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of lying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly 

I think I'm done nursing the patience
It can wait one night
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try

We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life
Run and tell the angels that everything is alright

I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly 
Make my way back home when I learn to...

Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own

I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to. . .

I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly

Tyler Knott Gregson

His words...
Reading his words and how he uses them gives me the feeling that he has reached into my soul and pulled my thoughts, dreams and desires from the place of their birth through my heart,  into his pen onto the paper in front if him.

Don't.

Not only is this song a classic, imo, but it's something wonderful. It asks the questions that we all want to know the answers to. It proclaims the things we all want to say. It addresses the fears we each have, and begs for the closeness that we all seek. My own adaptation, within artistic integrity of the original (were I to take it apart the way that I truly want to it would no longer belong to where it rests, so i've stayed quite close, I think).


Don't You Forget About Me

Won't you...
come see about me?

I'll be alone, dancing ~

Tell me all your troubles,
and doubts.

Give me everything,
inside and out.

Love's strange, it's so real in the dark...

Think of the tender things that we were working on.

Slow change may pull us apart...

And when the light gets into your heart, 
Don't You Forget About Me.


Will you stand above me?
Look my way, 
but never love me...

Rain keeps falling down

Will you recognise me?
Call my name,
or walk on by...?Don't you try to pretend.

It's my feeling that we'll win in the end.

I won't harm you,
or touch your defenses of 
Vanity and security.

Just...Don't you forget about me.

I'll be alone ~ dancing.

Please,
Don't You Forget About Me


As you walk on by.
Will you call my name?

When you walk away...


already forgotten.

a silly something i've challenged myself to learn...

I've been working, sporadically, in my spare time, on learning this line dance from the remake of Footloose. If you follow this blog at all, then you know how much I love dancing. What i've discovered about myself is that I am more of a dancer rather than a choreography follower. I can take the individual steps and moves and put them together, but memorizing choreography is NOT my strong suit. My youngest daughter is the exact opposite, which is what actually made me think about this. She can learn choreography and perform it beautifully, but give her "free" time, nope. So, this is tough for me. That's part of the reason why I want to do this, because it's a challenge for me and i want to beat it. The other part is that it's just a cool dance, and I want to be able to do it. 

So, I have posted below the scene from the movie and then the tutorial that works best for me. 

I'm getting there. Heck, maybe I'll take a vid of my own self when I get it down and post that. Or maybe not. :)

Footloose

Big and Rich

Fake ID

Fake ID 

Dance Tutorial

Where the river goes

Zac Brown Band

Where The River Goes

Some saints have fallen from on high

Through cold stained glass

The fire's calling

Crawling down the burning match

Gold fires

The wicked bells they crash

No grave

To save me from my haunted past

Hey man

I know where the river goes

Hey man

You will reap what you sow

You can't find a way to take your heart

And make it fly away

So you can live another day without this pain

Better to've loved and lost

Than to never've loved at all

That's what they say

A black heart is gonna pay for what's its don

Way down

Upon the cold, cold ground

Come down

The water's raging out

Hey man

I know where the river goes

Hey man

You will reap what you sow

Hey man

I know where the river goes

Hey man

You will reap what you sow

Hey man

I know where the river goes

Peace - Depeche Mode

No time at the moment to post anything. Just letting the song speak for it's own self.

Peace

Depeche Mode

A thought

If we take the position that the people that we need arrive when we need them, then it must be flipped into the other side as well... that we, also, are in another's life for a reason. If we accept that, we never leave until we've accomplished what we were there to do.

Sometimes we're there for the long haul, friend for life, lover...

Sometimes there is something specific that we can share to help another move through a particular passage of time in their life. 

Knowing when it's time to leave is the easy part... they let you know. Accepting that, however...

Comfort can come from knowing that whatever it was that I was there for has been achieved and that they now have tools to use and that all will be well with them...if they choose. It's important to not damage the good we've done.That would be such a waste.

And I leave enriched for the time together as well. If I look at things the right way and don't let hurt get in the way.

But, that said...I do admit that I much prefer it when the "staying" happens.

Just thoughts on a Sunday, the first day of Autumn 2013.

Forgive my noise.

Please.

ahhh

So it occurs to me in the middle of the night that I am in a fibro flare.

That, and the coming equinox, and the events of the past couple weeks, have me a bit battered. I apologize for the scatterdness. Yes, it's word...now. ;)

But it's a beautiful Friday and I wish everyone the best of everything.

Drink good coffee, and have a lovely day, folks.

Songs to be put away for awhile...

It happens.
For one reason or another. Some songs just can't be listened to for a bit. 
There are a few, more will be added to the list as it comes up.

No reason given. Just take it all at face value.

Pearl Jam

Black

Kenny Wayne Shepard

Blue On Black

Alice In Chains

Don't Follow

Rush

The Trees

Willie Nelson

Yesterday's Wine

Foo Fighters

The Pretender

Fun

Carry On

Pink

Try

Eagles

Take It To The Limit

"Nutshell update" drafted until I can get it completed coherently. Until then...

What I consider to be one of the most pivotal scenes in the Twin Peaks saga. Full of every emotion, an absolute roller ride within a small frame of time and shows the cracks and true thinness of the veil between the here and other. 
There were times when folks were thinking that Lynch had lost the vision, the momentum of the show, even questioned if there had ever been one. But Lynch is a mad genius. He'll take you through empty and dead end corridors on purpose, just to take you there, to see if you'll follow. Stay with him, if you aren't afraid, and you'll be rewarded with a scene like this one. 

The Bang Bang Bar

It's Happening Again

(no cut-aways to outside scenes, this simply plays to the full impact)

Somebody mentioned Twin Peaks, and I'm here with a damn fine cup of coffee ~

When I was a little one, I was fascinated with the original Dark Shadows. I knew I wasn't supposed to be, I wasn't allowed to watch it at all. They talked about it at the early elementary/christian daycare, warning all of us itty tikes that it was evil and dark and bad, and telling all of us that if it was on the television and we were around then we should ask the adult to turn it off or just run away from the room.
I sat there, raised my hand when the question came asking of who had ever watched it. Then the sad smiles, the clucks of sympathy, and I remember wondering why? What was wrong with it? It was cool, mysterious, intriguing, a little scary, thrilling...even at that age, I thought that. Which, by the way, blows adult thinking that young ones aren't able to intellectually articulate at some level. Anyway, I then remember that I felt ashamed because I liked it and still wanted to watch it, even though I didn't really get the story. I didn't think it was BAD. 
Anyway. Twin Peaks was one of the first shows that came along in my adult years that had the same flavor, the same twists, symbolism and just blank silliness at times as that did.
I liked it. I still do. It was a rage with many friends, but with church friends, the same situation as in all those years ago came up. 
Whatever. I suppose it is "dark", but like everything in life, there exists both. They are necessary and essential to the existence of each other, i believe. The trick is to keep it all in balance.
The music is moody, flows like the water and wind that are so symbolic in the show. It isn't deep or profound. 
Julee Cruise did alot of the songs that were made for the show. Chris Isaac did the most popular hit, and it was only loosely tied to Twin Peaks.
But this of Cruise's is one of my favorites. 

Julee Cruise

Into The Night

beautifully sweet song ~ because I really am just a mushy romantic. Don't ever doubt that.

Goo Goo Dolls

Come To Me

I'll be kind, if you'll be faithful
You be sweet and I'll be grateful
Cover me with kisses dear
Lighten up the atmosphere
Keep me warm inside our bed
I got dreams of you all through my head
Fortune teller said I'd be free
And that's the day you came to me
Came to me

Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

Come to me my sweetest friend
Can you feel my heart again
I'll take you back where you belong
And this will be our favorite song
Come to me with secrets bare
I'll love you more so don't be scared
When we're old and near the end
We'll go home and start again

Ooo Ooo Oooo, Ooo Ooo Oooo

I caught you burnin' photographs
Like that could save you from your past
History is like gravity
It holds you down away from me
You and me, we've both got sins
I don't care about where you've been
Don't be sad and don't explain
This is where we start again
Start again

Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

Come to me my sweetest friend
Can you feel my heart again
I'll take you back where you belong
And this will be our favorite song
Come to me with secrets bare
I'll love you more so don't be scared
When we're old and near the end
We'll go home and start again
Start again

Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

Today's the day I'll make you mine
So get me to the church on time
Take my hand in this empty room
You're my girl, and I'm your groom

Come to me my sweetest friend
This is where we start again, again

Come to me my sweetest friend
Can you feel my heart again
Take you back where you belong
This will be our favorite song
Come to me with secrets bare
I'll love you more so don't be scared
When we're old and near the end
We'll go home and start again (yeah)
Start again (yeah)

Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

Wishes to the world for an amazing day...coz why the hell not? 

:)

go get 'em, Tiger.

Damn right. And a few edits, now that I've had my shower and a tiny rest.

I'm so freaking tired tonight. I'm trying to take a shower but right now I'm just sitting in it because my legs are wobbly.

Pathetic. That's how I feel. Until I break down the day and see it. Then I feel even more tired than I am.

And...it's been rough emotionally. There's been a small struggle to manage, but today has been a difficult one. Add very tired to that and it seems like a massive struggle.

I don't need a hero to swoop in and save me. Just sit by me. Hold my hand, hold my head... or me. Let me feel that I'm not completely alone and that will help me find what I need to keep going. I CAN do it, alone. I have for a long time.

But I want that touch. And that's ok. I'm tired of having common popular thought trying to shame people into being islands. I'm no island. 

I'm just saying that it's better to WANT someone or something than to NEED it. In my opinion. It's healthier, for everyone. It's more honest. More genuine.

So tonight. A sadness exaggerated by fatigue. A vague valley of lonely despair.
All will be well again.
Until then...

Tiny dancer

Such an odd thing.
I've always liked this song, but i hadn't heard it for awhile. Suddenly, in the past week+, I've heard it a handful of times.

I don't believe in coincidence.

At any rate, here ya go.

Tiny Dancer
Elton John

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXSuO9O4Zug&feature=youtube_gdata_player

(I'll straighten it all up and out in a bit)

She drew a broken hallelujah ~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEx4P71pBdg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I'll keep saying it...

Because I need to believe it.
Because I need to BE one.

Did I post this already?

It's worth posting again.

working on checking the youtube links.

From my phone, the items are playable.
From my laptop, not so much.
I apologize for that, and I've been working on switching things over. 
I need to sleep now, though, so the rest will have to wait.

But if you haven't heard the music, plz go back a few and enjoy.

Have a good night, take care.

it's a bruno mars night

This latest cd of his is fantastic. If you follow any of this blog, you've seen alot of music posted. It's all emotionally based, because I AM a silly, sappy romantic...or it's very physical, because I AM a very physically active person.

I make no apologies for the fact that I like sex. I spent years being shamed for that, even from my former spouse and that's just silly. Sex is an awesome part of life, gosh darn it, and being able to share that with someone is amazing. It just is what it is, it's in a healthy way and it goes hand in hand with the emotions. 

All of these songs are a solid mix of both the emotional and the sexual, so of course it works well for me. 

Take that any old way you want to. If you know me at all, then you'll know I'm neither a drama queen nor a nympho.

I already posted Gorilla. One more Bruno song for the night ~

Moonshine

Hello
You know you look even better than the way you did the night before
And the moment that you kissed my lips you know I started to feel wonderful
It's something incredible, there's sex in your chemicals
Ooh, let's go
You're the best way I know to escape the extraordinary
This world ain't for you, and I know for damn sure this world ain't for me
Lift off and say goodbye
Just let your fire set me free
Oh

Moonshine, take us to the stars tonight
Take us to that special place
That place we went the last time, the last time

I know, I was with you last night but it feels like it's been so long
And everybody that's around they know that I'm not myself when you're gone
It's good to see you again, good to see you again
On top of the world, is where I stand when you're back in my life
Life's not so bad when you're way up this high
Everything is alright, everything is alright

Moonshine, take us to the stars tonight
Take us to that special place
That place we went the last time, the last time, oh

Moonshine, your love it makes me come alive
Take us to that special place
That place we went the last time, the last time

Don't look down, don't you never look back
We are not afraid to die young and live fast
Give me good times, give me love, give me laughs
Let's take a ride to the sky before the night is gone

Moonshine, take us to the stars tonight
Take us to that special place
That place we went the last time, the last time, oh

Moonshine, your love it makes me come alive
Take us to that special place
That place we went the last time, the last time

;) bang banging on your chest

Sing about it, Bruno.
Mmhmm.

Gorilla

Ooh I got a body full of liquor
With a cocaine kicker
And I'm feeling like I'm thirty feet tall
So lay it down, lay it down

You got your legs up in the sky
With the devil in your eyes
Let me hear you say you want it all
Say it now, say it now

Look what you're doing, look what you've done
But in this jungle you can't run
'Cause what I got for you
I promise it's a killer,
You'll be banging on my chest
Bang bang, gorilla

Ooh, yeah
You and me baby making love like gorillas
Ooh, yeah
You and me baby making love like gorillas

Yeah, I got a fistful of your hair
But you don't look like you're scared
You just smile and tell me, "Daddy, it's yours."
'Cause you know how I like it,
You's a dirty little lover

If the neighbors call the cops,
Call the sheriff, call the SWAT ‒ we don't stop,
We keep rocking while they're knocking on our door
And you're screaming, "Give it to me baby,
Give it to me motherfucker!"

Oh, look what you're doing, look what you've done
But in this jungle you can't run
'Cause what I got for you
I promise it's a killer,
You'll be banging on my chest
Bang bang, gorilla

Ooh, yeah
You and me baby making love like gorillas
Ooh, yeah
You and me baby making love like gorillas

I bet you never ever felt so good, so good
I got your body trembling like it should, it should
You'll never be the same baby once I'm done with you
You [3x]

Oh, you with me baby making love like gorillas

Ooh, yeah
you and me baby we'll be fuckin' like gorillas
Ooh, yeah (Yeah, yeah, baby, baby, oh yeah, yeah)
You and me baby making love like gorillas

Wow

Airborne Toxic Event

Sometime Around Midnight

And it starts
Sometime around midnight
Or at least that's when you lose yourself
For a minute or two

As you stand
Under the bar lights
And the band plays some song about forgetting yourself for a while
And the piano's this melancholy soundtrack to her smile
And that white dress she's wearing, you haven't seen her
For a while

But you know
That she's watching
She's laughing, she's turning
She's holding her tonic like a cross
The room suddenly spinning, she walks up and asks how you are
So you can smell her perfume
You can see her lying naked in your arms

And so there's a change
In your emotions
And all of these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind
Of the curl of your bodies, like two perfect circles entwined
And you feel hopeless, and homeless, and lost in the haze of the wine

And she leaves
With someone you don't know
But she makes sure you saw her, she looks right at you and bolts
As she walks out the door
Your blood boiling, your stomach in ropes
And then your friends say "What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

And you walk
Under the streetlights
And you're too drunk to notice that everyone's staring at you
You don't care what you look like
The world is falling around you

You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her

You know that she'll break you in two

Say anything ~ We won't break...we were bound to be set free...eventually.

Tristan Prettyman

Say Anything

If I could say anything, anything what would it be?
A good question for our destined reality
I would tell you that I love you
Even when it didn't show.
I would tell you that I love you, baby,
By now I hope you know.

If you could go anywhere, anywhere what would you see?
Take a step in any direction, it's make believe
If your mind is always moving
It's hard to get your heart up off the ground
Yeah, your mind was always moving
But your thoughts never made a sound

And we won't break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
So, here we are now
You can say anything

If I could have it go any way, any way it'd go like this
Take it back to a couple years yesterday to our first kiss
In that moment I loved you,
This isn't how I ever saw it going down.
In that moment I loved you,
I wish I knew then what I know now.

We won't break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
So, here we are now
You can say anything
You can say anything

You should you listen to your heart
(you should listen to you your heart)
It's gonna tell you what you need
(it's gonna tell you what you need)
Take care of yourself
(take care of yourself)
And don't you worry about me
(don't you worry about me)

You should you listen to your heart
(you should listen to you your heart)
It's gonna tell you what you need
(it's gonna tell you what you need)
Take care of yourself
(take care of yourself)
And don't you worry about me
(don't you worry about me)

We won't break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
Well, here we are now
You can say anything [x4]
Always say anything