Twilight ~

Disclaimer:
I am NOT a big Twilight fan. I enjoy some things about the books...I appreciate Meyer's take on the mythology of the wolves and the vampires. I like the theme of struggle and redemption, from the Cullen's perspective. They consider themselves damned creatures without souls and work to better mankind. And I appreciate the music to the extreme.
In particular, New Moon has meaning for me. For those not familiar with the story, Edward leaves Bella and she is utterly bereft. She felt so connected to him that she is left without purpose or desire to live. I'm not going into all the reasons for the seperation, just my reasons.
This movie came out right at the time that I knew my marriage was in serious trouble. I had just that week found so many dirty details of what was to come and I was numb with the shock and horror that I felt. When Edward leaves Bella and she falls into an almost catatonic state, I knew exactly where the character was. I was sitting in the same seat, not eating the same food, not sleeping, not thinking, not focusing ~
This is a brief scene that deals with the immediate aftermath of Edward's departure. The one thing missing that should still be in here are the screams that come from Bella each night when she loses the cold and numb control and her emotions overcome her. I know those screams. They speak from a pain so deep that they can't be touched during the day, during the conscious moments. They have been edited out of the scene.

The good part is, Bella slowly struggles back to life. She finds new things to live for, and although she isn't healed, she is moving again. For her, Edward returns to her life. For me, no. And even if it could have by some other way, by me it could not...my journey through took longer and came through so much hard work ~ but I'm stubborn and refuse to quit. Sometimes good, sometimes not, I find that this time it was good.

But it only takes a moment for me to be back in the midst of that time. Sometimes the scars never disappear and you remember with perfect clarity the events that gave them to you. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

Here is Lykke Li, Possibility is the song. Lyrics are below, as always. 

There's a Possibility,
There's a Possibility,
All that I had was all I'm gonn' get.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

There's a Possibility,
There's a Possibility,
All I'm gonna get is gone with your stare
All I'm gonna get is gone with your stare

So tell me when you hear my heart stop
You're the only one that knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There's a possibility I wouldn't know."

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Know that when you leave,
Know that when you leave,
By blood and by me, you walk like a thief,
By blood and by me, and I fall when you leave.

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You're the only one that knows.
Tell me when you hear my silence,
There's a possibility I wouldn't know.

So tell me when my sorrow's over,
You're the reason why I'm closed.
Tell me when you hear me falling,
There's a possibility it wouldn't show.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

By blood and by me, and I'll fall when you leave.
By blood and by me, I follow your lead.