And a night

Night, with dawn close by
Wrapped in my blanket
Thoughts
Not here
Christmas Day,
It doesn't feel it.
Still, it's ok.

I've always said
It's best not to need...
To want.
I still feel that.
But in the want
I find a feeling of need begin
Confuses me

It takes so little
For me to smile
It takes almost nothing
For a light to glow

I can't hide it from my friends,
My girls.
Smile, it shows and they know.
It's just there.

That for a moment, in that moment,
They know what happy feels like
Radiating out of me
I can't stop it
I can't help it
Still so very surprised by it.

And afraid.

Tears and smiles together,
I only accept it as it is for me.
To feel that good inside
For that instant
Is worth so much.
I don't expect a thing
I don't expect it to be the same.
Broken hearts
Line the path behind
And I don't know why it would be
Any different for you now.
I only know
What I know
And what I know
Is this...

It takes so little
For me to smile.

Do I leave this post
Or hide it
Like the rest...

I can't hide that smile anymore.
That
Is what
I know.