Even while enjoying the pounding beat, the climb and the drops, a part of me wished that I had just blasted the stereo at home. I really wasn't in the mood for a big crowd. Because, it was just all about the dancing.
Went dancing last night. It's been quite awhile since I've really, truly gone dancing. When the music is loud, I put on the reflective shades. wear whatever the hell I want, and dance.
It was great.
I wanted to get outside my head and forget about what's been worrying me, even just for a bit. I wanted to move. I wanted to ignore people. And I wanted to know that I was still okay.
The original plan was to go to a great spot in Tacoma and hear a cover band that has a good rep and following. But the sweet friend who was going to be there, and who had invited me, got called suddenly to take care of a mutual friend who's world began to crumble. I just couldn't quite bear the thought of sitting at home, so quick juggle of plans and the wave was surfed successfully. We would hit the club we like in Seattle...a "gay" club, although most folks there are quite straight. Especially on a Friday, it turns out. Not that it matters at all. Gay men dance great and have no interest in anything else from me. Super safe.
My usual MO is to never make eye contact. In a club, if you do, you invite interaction and it isn't always easy to end interaction after a song is over. It's easy with the sunglasses on. Tonight, I danced until I forgot. I moved. I ignored, but the club was full of grabbers...fortunately, they were easily rubbed off onto someone else.
I don't usually mind dancing with someone, as long as they take No for an answer when I'm done. It's really nice when it's just the old kind of "hey, let's just move and groove here beside each other". But, like I said, most tonight were the grabbers. Also, most were middle eastern. Just something that I've noticed, they treat American women as something to use, to dominate. BUT, tonight they were also easy to get rid of.
Because I didn't want to dance with any of them. I did, in the usual perverse ways of a woman, want to know that they wanted to. So that was okay. But, no thanks...and go away. Which they did. And when it got to that witching hour, when it all starts getting weird, I left.
And I've fallen asleep a few times while putting this up here. I'm really glad that my shift at the bakery got canceled at close of shift last night, otherwise I'd be getting up now to go in. I'm bummed that we're back to that messing around again, with the schedule, just at the time that it's supposed to be adding hours, but there it is. Nothing to do but do what you can to make changes happen. And so I am, as best I can.
Last Saturday at the farm...hopefully not too crazy. Just crazy enough.
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